Tangled Highways

Modern Religion

2012-01-24T10:33:00.000-05:00

Notah and I were talking this morning. He was saying that the youth in their congregation were doing a spaghetti dinner to earn some money for the youth group. They aren’t sure what they are going to do with it but they decided to do it as much for a youth activity I think as a real money making venture.

There had been some talk of using the cash for the kids to attend the youth campmeeting in the summer, but the adults weren’t too enthusiastic about that since rather than a real bible learning/teaching experience that Youth Campmeeting is more of a summer recreation camp. Several adults from the congregation had gone a year or so ago and didn’t seem too impressed with it.

I remembered when I was a teen. We didn’t have such a thing as a ‘youth camp.’ We went to real campmeeting for a week. There were three main services every day and an early morning prayer service. There was also an afternoon youth meeting for those of us between 13 and 19 or 20 years old. We stood in a circle meeting at a designated place where there was not a lot of foot traffic. There was a short bible reading or lesson, time for testimonies and a prayer time where the youth were able to request prayer for the sorts of things that burden young people. The prayer time lasted until everyone who had a burden of prayer had voiced their petition. Sometimes three or four prayed; sometimes only one, but it was a ‘real’ prayer time.

My friends and I were in all three main services and generally in the prayer service at 8:00 AM and the youth meeting. The local youth from the congregation there were not so diligent, but they did show up for most of the services and youth service—kind of like their parents who had jobs and family responsibilities that couldn’t be put on hold for the week of campmeeting.

We heard the testimonies of the old saints (and the younger ones, too.) We learned that the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man could accomplish. We learned to pray with a simplicity and burden that is seldom found in modern congregations. We learned to remain in prayer until prayers were answered. We saw men and women coming for healing trusting the Lord for His Promises. And we saw bodies healed of crippling afflictions, tumors and twisted bodies.

The old brothers used to talk of stakes being driven in out lives. It was a strange reference for me for many years. Now I understand it. Look upon Zion, the city of our solemnities: thine eyes shall see Jerusalem a quiet habitation, a tabernacle that shall not be taken down; not one of the stakes thereof shall ever be removed, neither shall any of the cords thereof be broken Isa 33:20 Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thine habitations: spare not, lengthen thy cords, and strengthen thy stakes Isa. 54:2 That is what they meant about having a stake driven in our heart.

Those testimonies and prayers and eyewitness experiences drove stakes in my heart. They were direct evidence of the Holy Spirit’s power in the lives of men and women who were sold out and devoted to following the Lord. They left an indelible imprint on my heart. Those ‘stakes’ were the thing that anchored me solid and secure during high school and college. They fastened my focus on God and the things of God. They held me when other youth were leaving the Church for the World. They blessed me when everything around was pulling away from God.

I wish our youth today could experience those old campmeetings.

Shortly before my father died, he wanted to go to a campmeeting site that we had gone to when I was a child 7, 8, 9 years old. I can remember it from those days. The campmeeting was filled with godly men and women. They spent their days in prayer, praise and preaching services. They dressed in modest apparel and made their kids behave themselves. The children were right beside them, leaving only for a short trip to the bathroom. There was an afternoon service for the kids while the adult service was going on. Some of them returned to their parents when the kids’ service was over; others played under the leaders’ supervision in a selected area. We had friends that we played with between services and for a while after the night service, but by and large, we spent the time with our parents in services.

I believe my dad wanted to meet an old friend there so we went down. It was only about an hour from where we lived in Sugarcreek.

We were shocked at the change! The only thing I recognized was the layout of the grounds! We arrived about the latter half of the morning service. The tabernacle was only about half filled. There were as many people wandering the grounds as there were in service. There were kids running everywhere, but very few in service.

We had lunch in the dining hall. (At least that was the same. Everybody ate.) It was about an hour and a half until afternoon service. I didn’t see anyone I knew, but dad met a few people his age who were there. He enjoyed talking with them about old times. The camp grounds had many large trees scattered over it and there were benches or chair under them where folks could sit and visit. But when the bell rang for service not very many bothered to leave their shady seats to go to the tabernacle. A shelter that could have held a couple hundred or three people had a scattering of around a hundred. There were more people outside.

The other thing I noticed immediately was that there were NO youth around any place. When I mentioned it to someone, they said, “Oh they took the youth to the ------ Water park in Columbus!” I couldn’t believe it but everybody there treated it as common place and completely acceptable. No wonder the Church of God denomination has such a shallow stand today. They don’t guide their youth into even the superficial experience the adults hold!

I’m burdened for my grandkids and for the kids of this generation. They are never having the experience of honest-to-goodness spirit led preaching and spirit filled singing and testimony. Consequently they accept any noisy, enthusiastic ‘concert’ for real praise and worship. They swallow any little lesson with several scriptures incorporated into a social dialogue as ‘good messages’ And when they are exposed to spirit filled worship and preaching, they don’t like it. It makes them uncomfortable. They are brought under conviction and it isn’t something they know how to deal with.

God help us!

2011-12-13T10:16:00.001-05:00

“The things of earth will dim and lose their value, when we recall they’re borrowed for a while.”

It’s coming on Christmas and I suppose it is natural to remember all the Christmases that have gone before. Rachael and Michael have been putting up Christmas decorations. (If they’re lucky, they’ll have the tree decorated by Christmas eve.) I’ve been remembering all of the keepsakes that have been packed away with the decorations- little things the kids made in school, ornaments left from my childhood and those from Rachael’s growing up years, gifts from my children in preschool and day care. They all bring back memories.

Sitting here in the quiet of early, early morning, I went from thinking of those things to remembering the pieces of glassware and dinnerware and furniture and other things that I’ve treasured for so many years because they belonged to my mother and grandmothers. Some of them are packed away still in the basement; some have been taken out and displayed in our house. And I enjoy looking at all of them. They make me remember my grandma and my mom and the stories Dad told of his mother and step mother. They bring back thoughts of Rachael and Notah when they were growing up.

But they aren’t as precious to me as they once were. It isn’t that I don’t treasure the memories, but the objects aren’t as valuable as they once were. I’ve been thinking of the song “Until Then,” especially the messages in some of the lyrics. “The things of earth will dim and lose their value…and things of earth that caused the heart to tremble remembered then will only bring a smile. This weary world with all its toil and trouble will take its toll of misery and strife.’ The soul of man is like a waiting falcon, when it’s released it’s destined for the skies!”

I’ve always liked the song, but the last few years I’ve grasped the deeper reality of the words. The things that I used to hold dear have dropped away. I haven’t thrown them out; they’ve passed into other hands to treasure, but for me I don’t hold them so close. My treasures and the loved ones they helped me to remember have moved from the earthly scene to heaven. I only need to quietly to remember the days of work and heartache, happy times and joy, blessings and burdens. And they are stored now in eternal storerooms. I sit here in Rachael’s house with very few sit possessions of my own. I don’t own a house. I don’t own a car. Most of the things accumulated over the years have been given to other family and friends. I have my cozy room and my favorite pictures on the wall. And my dogs. I have clothes to wear and a warm place to sleep. Rachael makes sure I have the right diet available when she does the grocery shopping. What more can I ask for in life.

The things of earth have lost their value. The trials and heartaches and hard places have all strengthened my faith and drawn me closer to God. I can look back on them and smile because in hind sight I can see the hand of the Lord working in my life.

Now more than ever my focus is on things eternal. And until then my heart does sing.

We Are Come!

2011-11-25T12:56:00.000-05:00

I had a big day yesterday for a knee just 3 weeks out from total replacement. I went in after dinner to lie down for a while. I napped a little bit—until Maggie decided it was play time and began romping all over the bed. Then I asked Rachael and Michael to entertain her a little so I could rest easier. But my knee kept aching.

I started thinking of Hebrews 12:16 -30. Actually I focused on verse 22: ²²But ye are come unto mount Sion, and unto the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to an innumerable company of angels, Then I had to get up and read the entire portion of scripture accompanying it. What a fantastic place to be in the Lord! To be taken into the fellowship of the general assembly and church of the firstborn, which are written in heaven, and to God the Judge of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect. What a fantastic privilege!

I thought of the respect accorded to the old Mt Sinai when Moses went up to receive the 10 commandments. Remember how God called on Moses to issue a warning to the people in Exodus 19:9-19. God declared the mountain holy to His Own purpose for that time and the consequence of ‘dis-respecting’ it was death. If even one of the animals belonging to the children of Israel touched the mountain it was to be killed. If you read the account you will see what great fear the warning provoked in the people when Moses went up on the mountain.

In Hebrews, the writer compares the Holy Mountain of the Church to that Old Testament mountain. He begins by speaking of Esau and how he despised his birthright for a moment of fleshly fulfillment and later even though he regretted it, there was no restoring it. ¹⁶Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright. ¹⁷For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.

We are reminded how much greater a promise we have been given today by Christ’s sacrifice on Calvary! ¹⁸For ye are not come unto the mount that might be touched, and that burned with fire, nor unto blackness, and darkness, and tempest, ¹⁹And the sound of a trumpet, and the voice of words; which voice they that heard intreated that the word should not be spoken to them any more: We don’t see a physical mountain that is surrounded with fire and blackness and storm. We don’t hear a literal trumpet or voice. We might be more careful of obeying our God if that were true.

No, here is the part that thrilled me. We aren’t come to some literal mountain. But we are come unto mount Sion, and unto the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to an innumerable company of angels, ²³To the general assembly and church of the firstborn, which are written in heaven, and to God the Judge of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect,   And more beautiful than that We come there through Jesus the mediator of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling, that speaketh better things than that of Abel. Just think! We are blessed to have obtained the fullness of the covenant initiated on Mount Sinai! We have immediate access to all the blessing that those early Israelites struggled so hard to attain. How fantastic!   We can dwell in the midst of that spiritual mountain, in the heavenly Jerusalem, the city of the living God! Accepting Christ’s atonement for our sins poured out blessings on us today that are breath taking!

Think about it! Christ has given us access to all the righteousness to which the Israelites aspired by following the Old Law! His blood has provided us forgiveness for sins and the power to live above sin, free from its bondage! It thrills me to the very depth of my being! The Israelites feared to set foot on the mountain but WE, WE, are blessed to dwell in the midst of it! Mount Sion, the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, the general assembly and church of the first born!

It makes me think of Psalms 87 where the psalmist says: The LORD loveth the gates of Zion more than all the dwellings of Jacob. Glorious things are spoken of thee, O city of God. Selah. I will make mention of Rahab and Babylon to them that know me: behold Philistia, and Tyre, with Ethiopia; this man was born there. And of Zion it shall be said, This and that man was born in her: and the highest himself shall establish her. The LORD shall count, when he writeth up the people, that this man was born there.

We were born into that holy city and assembly! How glorious it is to know that I was born in her! Not as a literal Jew, but as a spiritual one, born of the Spirit through water and the blood of Jesus! When we accepted Christ’s invitation to be born again we were born into that holy city, the Church of the living God! Don’t those words ring in your soul! Over and over, pealing out the joy of that new birth! It takes my breath away!

And while I was thinking on all of that, I considered how lightly so many Christians today consider the edicts of the Lord. They play church. They sit under ministers who present lectures in human values and social enrichment. They make social contacts. They give lip service to serving God and use the Love of God to cover all manner of sin! They disregard the tremendous and majestic heritage which God offers His People because they prefer to follow their own sinful and fleshly ways. In many cases it is even done ignorantly because the ministry they are depending on for Biblical teaching is failing in their calling.

Masses of Christians treat the things of God so casually. Oh yes, they ‘pay proper respect’ to the church buildings and they call one another brother or sister and refer to their spiritual leader as ‘pastor’ or ‘reverend’ and they go to church services on Sunday morning. They even pay a ‘tithe’ of some sort or a ‘pledge’ to the local congregation. Most of them profess themselves to be ‘Christians’ and are proud of their affiliation with a ‘local body of believers.’ They consider themselves to be freed from following the ‘old law’ but have no commitment to the deeper dedication that comes with complete salvation in Christ. They do all the outward things that proclaim them to be good Christians. And yet as Christ said they neglect the weighter things of following the Lord. ( . . . ye tithe mint and rue and all manner of herbs, and pass over judgment and the love of God: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone. Luke 11: 38-42)

In the religious world today men and women have no qualms about professing themselves ‘born again Christians’ and still living in sin. Many times their lifestyle is such that even sinners recognize their hypocrisy. We can see regularly professing Christians committing adultery and living in open sin but still ‘witnessing’ to the saving power of Jesus.

What a travesty!   What insincerity! What a trampling underfoot of the Son of God, and [counting] the blood of the covenant, wherewith [we are] sanctified, an unholy thing! (Heb 10:29)
I thought of the consequence to the people and animals who disregarded God’s warning back at Sinai.   God has similar warning for men and women today who disregard His standards and ignore His Word. ²⁵See that ye refuse not him that speaketh. For if they escaped not who refused him that spake on earth, much more shall not we escape, if we turn away from him that speaketh from heaven: ²⁶Whose voice then shook the earth: but now he hath promised, saying, Yet once more I shake not the earth only, but also heaven. And this word, Yet once more, signifieth the removing of those things that are shaken, as of things that are made, that those things which cannot be shaken may remain.

God’s ministers still have a responsibility to speak as the Spirit gives them utterance, to warn men and women of the Judgment of God to come. As the prophets of old (Ezekiel 33: 1-7) had a responsibility to their people so do God’s men today have the same responsibility.
God is still sending His Message of deliverance from sin and freedom to worship Him in righteousness. He is shaking the foundations of Satan’s prison house and freeing those men and women who turn to him. And mankind still has the choice of refusing His Word or accepting it.   Yet, men still deny and refuse it! They would have been among those who were very careful for fear of physical death not to touch the mountain while Moses was there. They would observe all the outward demands and be very careful how their obsequious attitude toward the ‘things of God’ is noticed, but like the Pharisees in Luke they ignore the deeper spiritual things that are more easily hidden from casual onlookers.   They are stomping on the spiritual mountain and considering that their sin is overlooked because the hand of God no longer reaches out to strike them dead for their disobedience.

But today we worship as spiritual Jews, not literal. Our death today is not literal but spiritual.
In Moses time all of the worship was focused on outwardly keeping of laws and ordinances; the consequences were literal. If God said ‘death’ it was a literal physical death. Today, the Word tells us that we are not literal Jews, but spiritual; our spirituality lies “inwardly; and circumcision is that of the heart, in the spirit, and not in the letter[of the law] That life requires a much deeper commitment to the things of God and a more careful walk before Him. And when God speaks of death now it is a spiritual condition and if we continue in our ways we find ourselves dead in trespasses and sin. (Eph 2:1)

But, oh! the glory of accepting and following the Way of the Lord!   We are brought into His Church, His holy mountain, His Kingdom which stands sure. Wherefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved, let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear: And we are given grace to serve God in holiness, consistently and faithfully! Amen!

²⁹For our God is a consuming fire. That fire consumes all the sin and dross in our life and makes us holy acceptable before God.

Isn’t that the most wonderful thing! It woke me up and kept me up! Our Lord is breathtaking, overwhelming! Take time to just read Hebrews 12:16-29. And read it again and again, until the glory of it fills your soul!

What a Mighty God We Serve!

2011-11-15T16:58:00.001-05:00

I realized something today. It has been exactly two weeks since my knee replacement. Last week about this time (the 8^th or 9^th) I was in a lot of pain; my leg was severely swollen and had a fever. Movement was limited and I needed help getting out of bed. I could walk a short way, but not too easily.

That evening or the next, I sent an email to Notah and Rachael and my sister in law, Helen, and my nieces asking them to pray for me. What a fantastic God we serve! And how surely He answers prayer! On Saturday and Sunday I was able to get out of bed alone. I was able to use the bathroom and come back to straighten out my bed and get back in. All without any help!

On Saturday I tried to do the exercises I’d been doing in physical therapy. I was able to do most of them without any difficulty. The whole straight leg lifts were difficult. The heel slides which are designed to bend the knee were do-able but I could only bend my knee enough to raise it about two inches off the bed. I did the toe kicks sitting on the side of the bed since I didn’t have the roll to prop my leg on. Those happened without any difficulty!

Sunday I did all the exercises again. This time I could raise my knee in the heel slide a little higher each time so when I reached the 20 times the therapist wanted I kept on going. My knee was loose and bent a little further each time. I stopped when I got to 50! I did 15 whole leg lifts. And the other exercises I was able to whip out in short order!

Last night I was so blessed to remember that prayer I asked for on Tuesday or Wednesday last week. All this progress has been because of those prayers! Wow! My leg is now just about the same size as the other one. The bruising is nearly gone. There is no fever! This morning I walked from my room to the physical therapy room! The therapist said it was about 250 feet! And I wasn’t even hurting when I got there.

All that may not seem like much to you, but believe me, it is amazing. And everybody here says so, too. Last week this time this all looked impossible, but the Lord has made it possible.

And now I'm going home on Friday morning!

Thank you, Lord!

2011-11-14T15:59:00.000-05:00

Wow. What a fantastic, busy, crazy, painful few weeks since I wrote about the end of my days in New Mexico. On November 1^st I had my second knee re-placement.

The surgery went smoothly-as far as I could tell since I was ‘out’ for the whole time. However as soon as I was able to see what was happening, I realized that this one had been much more invasive than the first. I had used the knee much harder since the other leg worked better and was much more dependable. Over the summer, I walked and went more places than before since I could do so with a cane or staff. Of course that contributed to more damage to the old knee.

By the time I got back to Ohio, I had to resort to crutches for the few days before the surgery. The knee was swollen and I could feel new ‘bumps’ in the deposits around the bone. So, although I didn’t ask the surgeon, I think it must have taken a lot more to prepare the ends of the bone for the new knee implants.

At any rate, the results of the surgery were widespread bruising and swelling. My first knee was swollen around the knee and a little downwards to my ankle and foot, but this was seriously swollen and feverish from day one. It was much stiffer than the first.

The good news is that now, 13 days after the surgery the swelling has gone down and I can walk on the leg. I think the progress has been faster than the first time. The goal, my goal, has always been to be finished in rehab within two weeks. In April I was here something more than three weeks. Even though I started out with a stiffer leg with less mobility this time, I knew more of what I should be able to do, so I pushed harder. Saturday I was able to get out of bed by myself and back into bed alone after having straightened the slide pad and the sheets! I can also go and open my window and the blind. I walked from my end of the hall to nearly the door of the Physical Therapy room.

Tomorrow I will go the whole way!

I miss being home with my old dog and my Maggie. I wish I could be there to help with potty training Maggie. Rachael says she will go out with the Big Dogs to potty. That must be a cute thing to see. Maxim goes tearing out, Sebastian and Gabriel rush along behind him and then comes Maggie bringing up the rear. I wish I could see it!

I’ve been stuck here in rehab while Rachael’s new store reopened with all kinds of good reports. I saw Michael’s work on re-finishing the cupboards, but I haven’t seen the new face-lift on the dishwasher and trash compactor (we never use it as a compactor, only a glorified trash can!) It must be beautiful.

I intend to be home before Thanksgiving!

summer is over

2011-10-27T15:56:00.001-04:00

I’ve watched the sun come up from behind the Manzanos for the last time this year. I’ve been startled by Bella’s back passing in front of the window like a small pony for the last time this year. I’ve ridden with the family across the fantastic desert and up into the mountains, wishing all the time I could get out and hike with them when they stopped to look around for the last time. I’ve listened to my grandkids say, “Look Grandma, what we found” for the last time this year and sorted through this year’s last array of pretty stones, flint shards, pot shards and broken arrowheads for the last time this year. For the last time this year I’ve been awakened from being almost-asleep by a whispery voice saying, “Grammy, you asleep?” when Seth came sneaking in for one last hug that night. And I’ve –groan—eaten Kerra’s fantastic spicy hot ribs for the last time until next summer!

We took some fantastic trips this summer: a wild route up and along and down the San Mateo Mountains, up through the Jemez Mountains to the Caldera down through Los Alamo and Santa Fe, up a canyon into the Manzanos; and around the foothills of the Magdalenas. My favorite was probably the Jemez, or maybe the San Mateos. Both were wild and beautiful. The road through the Jemez was better since it was all or nearly all paved. The road through the San Mateos was dirt all of the way, very narrow and rough in places.

Notah’s Big Red Truck is one of the best vehicles I’ve ever ridden in. Grandpa Bear would love it. Notah took that truck through some spots where I simply closed my eyes and other places where I was sure we were gonna leave grandma in the truck while Notah and Pat hiked 15 miles to a highway so someone could come and pull us out! If anybody is shopping for a truck I can’t say enough good things about a Dodge Ram!!

When we went through the Jemez Mountains we saw the devastation of the las Conchas fire that raged for eight days over the Jemez Mountains. By the time it was controlled the wild fire had consumed 103,000 acres or 161 square miles. Hudreds of families were evacuated and it was feared that the fire would engulf portions of Los Alamos National Laboratory.

For quite a while it was thought that the fire had been started by a camper, but ultimately, several weeks after the fire, it was determined that it had been started by a freak tree falling on a power line. It was the largest fire in New Mexico history and the leading news item in every broadcast for the entire week.

Of course by the time we drove through the mountains the fire was long out and the road re-opened to traffic. The acres and mountain tops of blackened trees were as awe-inspiring as the towering cliffs and green vistas.

The greatest thing about the Jemez Mountains was that I was able to climb a little bit of a hill from the trail up to the road surface. I was so thrilled. I haven’t ‘climbed’ a mountain in probably 35 years! Notah had gotten me a wheel chair so I could go with them on some of the easier trips. He thought he could take me a ways down the Hot Springs Trail, and he did; but we finally reached a corner where the trail became very narrow and rocky. There he had to stop.

Since the trail took a switch-back course down the hill when we came to the sharp corner the trail was actually not far at all from the top of the slope. Notah took a walk up the hill and came back to say that it wasn’t steep at all and he thought I could walk up it if he helped me. Sure enough, I did! Of course, by the time I got to the top my walking steps were used up! Pat brought the wheelchair up and Notah went to get the truck for me!

Kerra and the kids hiked all the way to the hot spring. I wish I could have seen it. When they started off I went to grab my camera so they could bring me pictures. But my camera was on the floor of Kerra’s car. I had forgotten to grab it when we transferred from her car to Notah’s truck! Rats!

The whole trip was beautiful!—just like all the other trips we took through the countryside.

My heart will always be in the desert.

puppies living and puppies dying

2011-08-09T10:11:00.001-04:00

On Thursday night Chloe had six puppies. They were four days early, but she is little and I think they had to be born because there was no more room inside for them. They were all born active and squeaking! :o) Three gray ones and three in various shades of tan. I was immediately concerned about the smallest gray one. I’ve had a lot of little puppies in my years and when they are born with pointy noses and bulgy heads, they are premature and don’t live long. Kerra was hoping it was because they were ¾ Chihuahua, so I let it go, but the next evening that puppy died. Then a larger gray one died too. When I saw it, the puppy had the same head shape as the tiny one. Their feet were also smaller and the toes were undeveloped. We all were sad, but it is simply the way of life.

I only have concern for the last gray one. It seems a little immature yet to be out of mama’s tummy, but when I saw him this morning the face and head had developed a little more and the ears were coming forward so I think maybe it will make it.

I get a little girl and I’m praying that the breeders won’t choose my favorite since they get the pick of the litter. They are all sweeties, but I especially like this little dark brown baby.

Chloe was very determined and efficient when they were born. She wanted them in Notah and Kerra’s bed and refused to have them in her box. When Notah came home I told him that I was a little worried because I hadn’t heard a peep out of her all day. He went in and opened the kennel. She immediately wanted on their bed, when he put her there she had the first puppy within just a few minutes. The next five came like pop, pop, pop! I don’t remember a litter of puppies ever coming quite that fast. She had them all in about an hour. I think she had refused to have them until she got under the covers in Notah and Kerra’s bed! You can tell they are my kids—they just put a towel under her and let her stay.

Kerra had to change the whole bed and scrub the mattress before they could go to bed! Fortunately the stains came out and they only had a wet spot on the mattress. Once the puppies were all there she was content to get in the box with them and go in her kennel.

We have two girls and two boys left. And she polishes them every ten minutes. No big dogs are allowed near them. They come and twitch their noses from six inches away when Chloe goes out to potty. Thain and Bella sniffed and were satisfied. Sadie would really like to have a baby of her own to love, but Chloe is NOT sharing. Probably when they are older she will let Sadie love them. Sadie was her surrogate mama when she came to live with us.

Three days old.

I love having puppies!

So...

2011-07-29T19:47:00.002-04:00

Seth stayed home with me yesterday. He’s a sweetheart, even if he is so full of energy and orneriness he drives him Mom and Dad crazy. I’ve had too many years of really naughty kids in day care; he doesn’t bother me. And if he does there’s a ‘school teacher’ voice that usually works. :o)

We played Battleship and Seth made paper airplanes which he flew out side my window for a long time. Then he played ball with Thain. That dog would have chased tennis ball all afternoon. He is so graceful when he runs after it—not at all like the full tilt gallumping style that Maxim uses. And he doesn’t do a Victory Lap like Maxim. There is not much that I enjoy more than watching kids and dogs play.

Notah called Kerra in the afternoon and wanted to go eat dinner at Sopa’s; so that was good too. I was tired but it was a good tired, not a depressed can’t-do-anything-else kind of tired. I slept good last night too—went to bed with the light out around 10:30 and slept till 1:30 when I woke up to go potty, then back to sleep till 5:30 this morning. That’s really good.

So now I’m sitting by my window. There’s a cool pleasant breeze blowing and the sky is overcast for as far as I can see. I guess the sun came a a few minutes ago, but all I can see of it is a few bright rays shining through breaks in the cloud cover. That’s pretty amazing for New Mexico.

Thain just came and stood in the window checking the breeze as it drifts through. His long German Shepherd nose twitches as he stand perfectly still. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have such a sensitive nose; he certainly seems to find a lot of interest in the scents that are carried on the breeze. What is he smelling, I wonder. Cattle, horses, sage, juniper, coyotes, of course, and maybe even a cougar (the neighbor said there had bee a report of one sited just recently down here on the flats). Whatever they are, Thain finds them fascinating.

But we still need the rain those clouds might dump out. The two or three days when we had an hour of good soaking rain (our courtyard actually flooded!) helped the vegetation tremendously. All of the dry bushes and trees are putting out leaves. Our locust trees along the road are finally looking like real trees. There are a couple which might not recover from the hard freeze last winter and the following drought, but most of them are putting out branches full of green!

The morning feels so good. I could probably go back to sleep.

Catching up

2011-07-28T19:43:00.003-04:00

I haven’t been here for a couple weeks so it is time to catch up on things.

First off and most amazing, I now have beautiful golden salmon colored TOENAILS. This is thanks to my grandson who thought that I really needed to have my toenails polished with Keva’s nail polish. After 15 minutes of wrestling with him to prevent it, I finally gave up and let him do it. They are a sight to behold!

I never could understand why women polished their toenails anyway. Most people’s feet are not attractive enough for someone to want to call attention to them! Mine are not an exception to that standard.   And now they have a pretty golden salmon paint on them, with a generous amount smeared on the skin. Consider who did it and that part of them were painted while Grandma was vigorously protesting.

How long does it take for nail polish to wear off? I figure that by the time Rachael comes after me in October it should be gone… I hope.

New Mexico has had a very dry spring and early summer. When I first got here, Albuquerque weather men were saying that it had ben the driest first six months of the year since the late 1800’s with only two tenths of an inch of rain. Every day we would watch as dark clouds gathered over the mountains and then moved on without giving us any rain.

Then a little more than a week ago the storm clouds began dropping teasing drops of rain from time to time. And this week we have gotten two days of good rains during the night and one during the afternoon. The desert is responding with enthusiasm. Our back courtyard now has all kinds of grass sprouting; the rose bushes are putting up new sprouts and the wild flowers are popping up everywhere—no flowers yet but the stems and leaves are growing like mad. The sage brush, most of which has been brown and gray looking is getting green. Many of the trees which had no leaves and only dead looking branches are sprouting leaves and some even have blossoms. I’ve always been fascinated with how the desert responds to moisture.

Seth stayed home with me today. He had been going to work with Kerra this week and I was getting really depressed. I only have my camp chair to sit in but that makes my knee hurt after using it for a while. I can’t use the sofa because it is too low for me to stand up from. Chairs and sitting surfaces have to be at least 22 inches high for me to get up comfortably. The normal sofa may be 22 inches high if no one is ON IT but when you sit down the cushions compress and you end up 18 inches off the floor!   So I was spending 16+/- hours of the day closed in my bedroom. I couldn’t open the blinds because I wasn’t able to reach the cord so it was very dark. I am not able to sit in my camp chair very long at night when everyone is home so I am going to the bedroom shortly after supper. (That was all right when I first got here and was tired, but when I caught up on my rest, it was different)

Most days this summer, Seth has stayed home and he has kept me entertained, but this week when he was going with Mom every day I was getting really depressed. I struggled to keep from crying when anyone was around. Evenings were okay because I went to my bedroom not long after supper and no one except Seth was bopping past.   Yesterday morning it was a real hard thing to do but I managed. This morning, I went back to the bedroom because there were not people walking past all the time and if I was leaking tears there was not much chance of anyone noticing. Keva was in and out but she is wrapped up in her own world so she didn’t notice. Seth was in once and sat down beside me on the bed, so he wasn’t looking straight into my face; he didn’t notice. I was almost home free till Kerra came in.

As soon as she saw I was crying and asked why, the flood gates opened. She first attached a cord to my blind. Now I can open it in the afternoons. Being able to see the mountains will be a big help. (Pretty soon the kids will be back in school and I’ll have to cope.) She talked about figuring out a way for me to be able to sit in the living room where there’s the TV and dogs to distract me. :o)

And then my Seth came and said he would stay home with me! Bless him! He is very tender-hearted and loving. So this morning he was outside for a while and came in discouraged because he wanted to build me a box for getting in the cars but the drill wouldn’t cooperate with him! Then he came in and we figured out how to fix his baseball game. He glued the ramp on and I figure out how to attach a piece of cardboard to the one guide so it wouldn’t keep catching the marble.

Now he is playing the marble game and we are both watching a game show.

And I was finally able to stop crying.

Tomorrow we all have eye appointments. I needed one before I left Ohio, but we didn’t have time, what with my therapies and doctor’s appointments and Rachael’s work schedule. I think my reading glasses are okay but my distance lenses seriously need replacing. When Notah said they all needed to get their eyes checked, I asked Kera to make an appointment for me at the same time.   So tomorrow’s the day.

Chloe looks like a little blimp. Her puppies are due on August 8^th. We have a small problem because that is the weekend of camp meeting. So I don’t know what we will end up doing. We all think she is going to have four puppies. Her ‘hubby’ was a slender long legged tan Chihuahua so her puppies should all be tan with black points. Rachael said I can have a baby girl. I seriously hope she has two girls, because I’m afraid the owner of the little male may want a girl! We are waiting anxiously. This is her first litter and with any luck she will not have any problems.

So that is all the catching up there is to do today!

Pat

2011-07-12T10:46:00.000-04:00

Notah has a friend; he is such a good friend that the kids call him “Uncle Pat.” For the last several years, ever since Notah moved out here, Pat has been aiming at getting moved himself. This year when Notah came after me, Pat came too. He shipped his belongings and brought enough in his car to live a few days until they arrived. He brought his dogs; we brought his cats. (surprisingly good cats, considering they had never been confined to a travel kennel for any length of time at all.)

We left at nine am on a Friday morning. Pat still had stuff to do so he didn’t get started until later in the afternoon. We didn’t exactly travel together, but he and Notah kept in touch as we went. By the time we got to Oklahoma, Pat was only about 3 or 4 hours behind us.

Now there are only two legs left to go from Oklahoma City. You go Ok. City, Amarillo, Albuquerque, then cut down to Belen. Simple eh? I mean there is only ONE ROAD west.

If I hadn’t been so tired I think Notah would have driven on through that day; it is only about 5 hours more to Belen. But we stopped in Amarillo. (Remember, we wanted to eat at the Big Texan?) We were all relaxing in the motel when Notah’s phone rang. It was Pat. “Okay, I’m here where do I go now?”

Last exit on I-44 before it ends. See? A-b-i-l-e-n-e!

I-44 ends 1 1/2 miles

It turned out Pat had neglected to switch from I-44 to I-40 in Oklahoma City. Where was he? WITCHITA FALLS, TEXAS! Fortunately I-44 ended there. Pat didn’t know where to go and wanted to know the route to take. If the route hadn’t ended the man would have ended up in

Mexico

! Passport? I didn’t need a passport the last time I was out here!!

Notah said, “You were supposed to follow the signs to Amarillo and Albuquerque.”

Pat said, ‘I did.”

Notah said, “No, you went south into Texas. You were supposed to be going west to Amarillo.”

Pat said, ‘Well, I was going to Albuquerque or Amarillo or something like that. The sign said, A-B-I-L-E-N-E”

Notah nearly swallowed his teeth laughing, “Pat! That’s Abilene! You wanted Albuquerque!” These southwest place names are gonna be the death of Pat.

So instead of catching up with us in Amarillo, as he would have done if he had stayed on route, he was still four hours behind and south of us. Luckily Notah was able to find routes to angle him back up to Amarillo instead of his having to backtrack to Oklahoma City. After doing a little online research, Notah told him the routes to pick up and even which little Texas town had motels. Pat traveled about another hour, found a motel, got a few hours of sleep and managed to find his way to Albuquerque the next day!

Seriously though, we are really concerned about him losing himself in the desert. The southwest is a really BIG place and the roads are few. Pat is as much of a “herpe-phile” as Notah and likes nothing better than to roam around back roads looking for snakes and other such things. Notah developed a sense of direction when he was just a kid, but Pat—no. He doesn’t even read maps! The first thing we encouraged him to do was to get a GPS so he could at least give Notah the coordinates of his location if he did get lost!

Oh, I have visions of that!

Saturday, Notah had to work a few hours in the morning and when he came home at noon we all loaded up and headed for Wal-Mart. I was sitting in the truck while Notah and Seth hustled around looking for something.

Pretty soon here came Seth dragging a huge logging chain. Seriously the links were as big around as my thumb and the thing was 15 feet long at least. He had to drag it. There was no way he could have picked it up. He put it in the back of the truck and Notah came up, still hunting for something else. When they both got in the truck, he laid a smaller chain on the center console.

I said, “WHAT are we doing with that?” Pat was stuck in the sand! He had been able to describe to Notah where so the chain was to pull him out.

Notah has this big four wheel drive pickup that is a powerful machine. We bounced over some nasty stretches of road (and I say that as someone used to NM roads.) and found Pat.

The man was well and truly stuck. His front bumper was about an inch from a hump in front of the car and Pat was on his hands and knees digging. He had dug out a space to get his jack under the frame, hoping to lift the car high enough to clear the hump.

Sand can be really deceptive out here. It can look smooth and solid, but bury you in seconds. That’s what happened to Pat. When he told Notah where he was, Notah knew exactly the sand hole he was in. There were only two or three choices on that road!

Happily it was on our way to Wal-Mart. We bounced over a couple miles of rutted road—Pat was looking for snakes and reptiles, you don’t find too many along paved roads. When we got to the second sand hole, there was Pat!

Notah hooked that big old chain to Pat’s little Honda. The first time the chain came off the frame before the pull started. The second time Big Red Truck just backed up like he was on a smooth road pulling a Tonka Toy. The Honda came out of that hole and over the hump without a stutter.

I told Pat that I’ve lived out here quite a few years and many of those years traveled back roads, but he had done the Best Job of getting stuck in sand that I’d ever seen.

I hope he is able to afford that GPS soon!

that's entertainment

2011-07-12T09:21:00.000-04:00

What do people do who don’t have a pet to bring them chuckles and laughter? As god’s people most of us don’t spend inordinate amounts of time watching foolishness on television. We don’t waste our time being distracted by ungodly music and other programs on the radio. Hopefully we aren’t bringing that same music into our homes on CD’s. And yet the Lord sends us simple and wonderful things to ‘entertain’ us.

This morning when I finished, or actually as I was finishing, the dogs came to see if there were any scraps they might be interested in. Bella is so big that her chin can rest comfortably on the table; her shoulders are even with the top. Thain is so big that his chin can rest easily in my lap and with a little bit of a stretch he can see what’s on the table. Poor Sadie has to settle for stretching her neck to see if I’ve dropped a crumb or two in my lap. They are all very good though and wait patiently until after we have eaten. They aren’t allowed to beg. And things can sit on the table or the counter all day without being stolen.

This morning, though, they were so funny. Bella came first. She made it in time to get the discarded white parts of my egg. When my kids were little I always made them eat all of their egg. (Sun up! It’s 6:40 AM! ) And even though I don’t care for the white of a boiled egg, I generally eat it. But this morning Bella was starving. So I gave her a couple bites of my egg. Then Sadie came but by that time everything was gone except my cherries. Bella thought those might be good, but after a couple sniffs she decided, no, that wasn’t dog food. Sadie didn’t care though. She gobbled hers. Thain came along and saw Sadie was chewing something and HE wanted some too. Now HE didn’t really think dogs should be eating cherries ( sweet, ripe Bing Cherries) but Sadie was eating hers and if he spit his out, she would eat it. So, strange taste and all, Thain ate his little piece of cherry. The expressions were priceless.

Yes, dogs do have expressions. Bella was calm and serene through the whole process. Sadie was ‘oh yes, I’ll try it.’ Thain was “are you sure this is good to eat?” I loved it!

And then there are the late night calls from Rachael. . .

My kids grew up with us doctoring all sorts of ailments in kitties, puppies, baby bunnies and what have you, so their first recourse when there is an animal problem is to call Mom. It doesn’t matter that Mom is 2000 miles away, call Mom. :o)

Sunday night about nine thirty here, ten thirty in Ohio, Rachael called and said, “MOM! What do you use to get skunk smell off dogs?!!” LOL Gabriel and Sebastian had tangled with a little skunk in the back yard. And of course, Maxim had to go help them. Fox terriers have NO concept of size or danger; they tear in with flags flying. Well, their flags flew and so did the skunk’s.

They don't look like skunk killers, do they.

I knew that the one ingredient for removing skunk smell was hydrogen peroxide in dish soap (preferable Dawn) but I wasn’t sure of the other one. Notah and Pat had gone on a late snake hunt, but I knew Pat had been talking just a few days ago about getting the smell of his dogs so I tried to call them. Phone service in NM is dicey, especially if you are back up a deep canyon looking for black-tailed rattlers or cruising between mountains. After a few tries to both of them I finally connected with Notah. He got the other ingredient from Pat—in between gales of laughter! Why is it when something happens to someone else it is worth a few chuckles, but when it happens to your sister it is hysterically funny? Never did figure that out in 60 years.

Anyway, hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and Dawn dish soap—in generous proportions of peroxide and baking soda will remove the skunk smell from dogs, give ‘em a bath in it!

At about 1:00 AM Ohio time, I got a text: “dogs bathed, going to bed.”

I asked Rachael yesterday if they both smelled like skunk when they went to work. She said no but they did make the dogs sleep in my room instead of with them. Oh yeah, when I get home in October my room will probably still have a lingering odor of eau de skunk!

Throw out your TV and get a Toy Fox Terrier or a Labrador Retriever, or a German Shepherd, or a boxer/pit bull mix. Or even a beautiful, graceful, serene Great Dane. You will never lack for entertainment. Or love.

wednesday morning

2011-06-29T11:18:00.002-04:00

Well the sun just popped over the mountain. It’s 6:32 AM! In Ohio that isn’t much of an event because the brightness is filtered through and across a myriad of trees, hills, buildings and house roofs. But here there in nothing at all between us and the mountain that it pops up over.

And that makes for a spectacular event every day. First the sky lightens of course. And then there is a brighter spot over the notch where the sun will appear. For a while it brightens and brightens until you can see a slice of the sun peeking over the edge. But even that is not sunrise. The slice gradually gets larger and larger then unexpectedly the whole orb of the sun shoots above the mountain and the whole world is suddenly bright. Not just turn-on-the-lamp-bright but turn-on-all-the-flood-lights-in-the-entire-stadium-bright.

Honestly, once in your life you should make an effort to be in the desert and see the sunrise over the mountains.

sunday!

2011-06-27T09:51:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was a great day. First and foremost, I was able to be in church services for the first time since last year. I really like the little church Notah and Kerra go to. The people are sincere and loving. The pastor and his wife have a burden for the work. The song service yesterday, rather than being the traditional hymns, consisted of remembering the songs of our childhood in Sunday School. They had to put the words to them on the screen up front because for lots of folks they were lost in time. Those ‘children’s songs’ carry a lot of meaning that we adults often disparage because they are only ‘children’s songs.’

One that stuck with me--We sang ‘Happy in the Savior.’ Now there is a message. And I haven’t sung it since probably Bible School at Rock Springs. “Happy in the Savior. Happy in the Savior. Happy in the Savior, I am Happy in the Lord!” Now that’s a chorus that lots of adults could begin to practice more regularly.

Pastor Chad brought a good message on unity among the church. Good one! Paul and Timotheus, the servants of Jesus Christ, to all the saints in Christ Jesus which are at Philippi, with the bishops and deacons: ²Grace be unto you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:1-2 was his text.

He pointed out that we are all designated as ‘saints’ so that doesn’t make any one of us better than another and we are all servants of Jesus.   That means that no specific individual’s opinion is better than another’s and we must be humble enough to consider that in our dealings. Pastor Chad pointed out that Paul prayed grace on each saint and through that we have grace to deal with one another kindly and with love. The third thing we must remember is that he wished that there might be peace among God’s people. What can we offer the world if we are quarrelling and fussing among ourselves?

I can’t remember all the texts he used but these two stuck with me. (Now when a minister preaches, I sometimes have a concordance running through my head, so I don’t guarantee that both of these were ones he cited. I know this first one was. I think the second one was. My Bible was buried in my suitcase and I didn’t have anything to write with. NEXT Sunday will be different. )

   I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:1-3 If we are following the Lord as we were called to-as saints of God, we will walk carefully so we are fulfilling the ‘vocation’ God has designed for us. We will do it with (whew! Get this) ‘lowliness, meekness, longsuffering and forbearing one another in love.   That will keep us joined together in peace. That is hard to find in a lot of congregations and between congregations. That hits a little close to home.

Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; Romans 12:9-10 He didn’t comment on it but I liked the concept of being ‘kindly affectioned.” For me that means not necessarily living in one another’s pockets, but making an allowance for our brothers and sisters in the Lord with kind thoughts and an attitude of consideration in times when we are apart.   Sometimes it is ‘out of sight, out of mind’ among the fellowship of the saints. If we are ‘kindly affectioned’ toward each other we will remember our family in the Lord from time to time with a prayerful thought or a happy smile.

Now he did say, that we will allow the others to be before us and favor or permit or prefer their view over ours.

As I thought more on his message, it occurred to me that this wasn’t speaking of doctrinal things but the temporal things that occur in the business of the congregation—the decisions that must be made regarding property upkeep, maybe fellowship dinners or get-togethers that the family of God enjoys having. I have seen more fussing over the color of the new carpet and the padding on the pews and the menu for the fellowship dinner that you can believe. What difference does it really make if the carpet is brown or gray, or even if there is any carpet at all? What difference does it make if there is a planned menu for the fellowship dinner or just a catch all carry in? But that has all caused a lot of ungodly attitudes among the very people who should be ‘preferring one another.’

Yep I enjoyed my first day back in service!

After service was over Notah had a board meeting. Keva wanted to go with her fried and ride a four-wheeler or a dirt bike or something. Seth’s friend Zach had gone to church with us and Kerra needed to take him home. So we all split up in different directions.

Kerra drove us into Belen to see if the flea market there was still open. I want a walking staff to use instead of a cane when I’m out side on uneven ground and she said she had seen a whole bunch there. As it turned out it was so hot that everyone was going home early. We stopped and got something to drink and I got some chicken sticks to tide me over till lunch/dinner. We finally ended up at Wal-Mart, wandering around there until Notah’s meeting was over.

It’s a good thing I don’t go to Wal-Mart very often! I managed to spend 50-plus dollars in about 45 minutes. Of course $25 of that was for books, but still.   Probably the thing that pleased me most was getting tennis balls for the feet on my walker. (I still have to use it when my right knee is tired.) On Kerra’s tile floor with all of NM’s sand it made a nasty scraping noise. The tennis balls slip on over the walker legs and voila! No more scraping noise!

Then we went to dinner at Henrietta’s when Notah caught up with us.

Oh, my legs were tired when I got home. And we had been driving around with the windows down so my skin and hair was covered with fine NM dust. So I went straight in and took a quick shower; then I was down for the count. Surprisingly after all that trekking around, my knees and feet weren’t swollen.

Before I quit, I have to say something about how good the New Mexico sun felt. It was around 101 or maybe higher, but the heat just burnt into your skin and sank into your bones. Only common sense makes you come in out of it. It felt so good.

2011-06-24T09:53:00.002-04:00

Excitement, excitement, excitement! Living with Notah’s family is sooo different from living with Rachael and Michael. There is so much going on! Whew. In Ohio we have a humdrum existence. Not boring, mind you, but very routine and quiet. Notah has two kids and a busy wife. Seth alone is enough to keep life from becoming dull. Add in Keva and Kerra coming and going, then add two big dogs, one medium sized dog and a Chloe-biscochito in the house AND two more dogs outside…. Well life is very interesting.
.

Did I write about Sweetie? I can’t remember. Notah and Kerra picked her up on a desert road; she was laying in the middle of a dirt road. When they slowed down she got up and moved to the side. Of course they stopped and discovered she had been badly bitten all around her neck and shoulders. There was a huge swelling over the back of her neck from a bite there. Of course, they picked her up and brought her home.

Sweetie when they found her

Now there is a problem. She had been used for dog fighting and although she is ‘sweet’ (hence the name ‘Sweetie’) she has problems with dogs that look like pit bulls. Sweetie herself appears to be a Dalmatian pit bull cross. That was where the excitement came from last night.

Keva went out to play with the dogs. As long as she was playing with Sweetie and her buddy Jack, things were okay. When Keva came into the other yard and paid attention to Bella and Sadie, Sweetie was jealous. A little later, Notah went out and thought he would let Bella and Sweetie play for a while, but Sweetie was still in jealous-mode and jumped Bella. Now Bella is a Great Dane and NOT a good candidate to jump into a fight with.

Thank the Lord Pat was here. I don’t believe Notah alone could have separated them. As it turned out Bella gave as good as she got, but there were no major hurts! I think mostly it was a ‘minor’ scuffle, but while it was happening, Kerra was running around all over trying to find a heavy broom to use to separate them. Seth was screaming to ‘stab’ Sweetie. Keva was crying and I was hustling around without a cane or walker! Finally Notah and Pat succeeded in getting Sweetie to turn loose of Bella’s throat. Bella had no injuries that I could see, maybe one or two tooth marks. Sweetie had a couple bites on her head where Bella had nailed her.

Bella came in and lay on my bed for a while. Keva’s room, which is now my room, is her secure place. She was there for about a half hour or forty-five minutes til she calmed down and felt safe again.

I wish we could find a pit bull rehab center for Sweetie. She is exactly what her name says in relation to people, but I don’t think they will be able to trust her around other dogs without constant vigilance.

2011-06-21T08:59:00.006-04:00

I watched the sun come up over the Manzanos this morning. The smoke from the fires in the west kind of dulled it. One minute it was bright and gray, the next the sun flooded the whole world with light! There were none of the bright oranges and pastels we usually have. I’ve lived Navajo long enough that there is something in me that makes me love the sunrise. I opened the curtains long enough to see the sunrise and then about an hour later I closed them again to keep out the heat of the day.

I had a lot of trouble with my knees on Monday after we arrived. Today I’m doing a little better; I had to use a walker all day yesterday, but today I’m using my cane again, at least for the morning and early afternoon. I eventually had to resort to the walker again.

Seth and Keva were both home today. Like teenagers, they slept till ten and then played video games and watched TV all day.

It’s good to be here.

Playing catch up. Go down three posts. travelling west, Sunday June 19

2011-06-19T11:41:00.000-04:00

We left Amarillo at about 6:15 on Sunday morning. Notah and Tamia went in to the lobby and grabbed some breakfast. The scrambled eggs and sausage were good, but the coffee was lousy. We stopped for good coffee at the first McDonalds. We were home by 9:45. Of cours that allows for the one hour time change at the NM/TX state line. So really we were home by 10:45. If you do the math, that’s just about four and a half hours.

It’s good to be back in the desert again.

travelling west June 18

2011-06-18T11:39:00.000-04:00

Packed everything up, packed the cats in and we got started by about 530. It was pouring rain when we were ready to leave. Fortunately Notah already had everything in the car except me with my purse and my pillows. He ran back and forth quick to do them. Then we waited till the rain slacked a bit and he backed the car right up to the step so I could get in fast. I got a few sprinkles, but nothing soaking.

Notah gave the cats their pills so they were mostly quiet for the day, a few complaints but nothing major.

Notah called his cousin Kathleen when we got to Tulsa. She wanted to know if we could pick up Tamia when we came through OK City. Aunt Helen is missing Leonard because it is coming up Father’s day and she thought maybe Tamia would help distract her. The pick up was smoother than silk! Kathleen was at the Sinclair station when we got there and after a quick hug, Tamia was loaded into the two feet beside the cats on the back seat and we were off.

From OKC on to Albuquerque the speed limit is 75 so the miles passed quickly, especially since Notah has a lead foot. We made it all the way to Amarillo. We could have gone further because it is only 4 or 5 hours from t here to home, but I was really tired. I didn’t realize just how tired until we got to a motel and I was able to lay down for a little while.

We had dinner at the Big Texan restaurant. http://www.bigtexan.com/ (wait for the promotional video to load and play) This is a neat restaurant that is advertized all across Texas and a few times in Oklahoma and NM. It serves buffalo meat and a few other exotic dishes, but mostly just good steaks. The atmosphere is neat and that basically is what you pay for, but if you only do it once every 5 to 25 years, that’s okay.

There are mounted animal heads all around the dining room balcony. There are tables on the balcony. One time when we were there (the kids and I) they even staged a gun battle and one of the bad guys got shot and fell off the balcony!

They are famous for their 72 ounce steak that is offered free of charge to anyone who can eat the entire meal in an hour or less! That steak is HUGE. While we were there this year some man finished it in 57 minutes and 3 seconds. I don’t see how people do it without being sick. You have to eat the baked potato, roll, salad and all the fixings! Never in a day could I do that. ( I couoldn’t finish my pidley little 8 oz. steak. I had to bring some of it home with me for lunch Monday!) Notah’s friend Pat who just moved here wants to try. I asked him if he had the $80 to pay for the meal if he doesn’t eat it!

Go to the Big Texan website and click on the ‘Joey “Jaws” Chestnut’ link beneath the promo video to watch this guy finish the steak in under 9 minutes! I wondered if he had time to enjoy it. And he wasn’t a big guy either! Maybe he went down the road a ways and barfed it all up.

travelling west June 17

2011-06-17T11:32:00.000-04:00

Today we started our trip to NM. Notah arrived yesterday afternoon, collected his rats and touched base with his other snake buddies. We had me pretty well packed already but we had to get a few grocery things to snack on for the trip.

It was nostalgic to get in the car this time. It was only Rachael and Notah and me. How many trips have we started with just the three of us? I asked Notah to pray for our trip because I was already on the edge of tears. I think those memories were in all of our minds as we prayed together because we all had teary eyes by the time Notah said Amen.

It made me remember all of the years I had spent time organizing for this trip But this year they did almost everything. Rachael put my things together in the suitcase (I’ll never get everything back in again.) and took me around for the few things I needed. She even cut up the meat and cheese to eat on the trip. And in betwen times, she triple cleaned my room. ( as if Notah would notice a dirty floor!) Notah arranged for the car and did all the packing. By the time we were ready to start all I had to do was go out and get in the car. It is strange how the life moves. It is a blessing how those years of raising kids pays off when you see them tall and strong and responsible. And even more of a blessing it is to have kids that can pray a prayer that you know reaches the ears of God!

End of the day.

We travelled all the way to Rolla, Missouri today. That was a good day considering we didn’t get on the road until nine. And then we had to stop and get dry ice to pack Notah’s rats and put in the cooler.

We had some hard rain a couple times; visibility was nearly zero. Once I saw a sign up ahead but after a few more feet I realized it was a semi-trailer! Once we drove through that mess it was clear sailing into Rolla.

We brought Pat’s two cats along since he is moving to New Mexico. He has looked forward to that ever since Notah moved and it is finally happening. I was a little worried about the cats traveling with us, but they did real well. Buddy complained a while but only with plaintive mews, no yowling. Fat Black slept. We had a handicap motel room so it had a big bathroom. Notah just put the cat carriers in there to let them out. Buddy came out and found himself a corner to park in. Fat Black stayed in his carrier and looked out for a while. But when I went to the toilet at one or two o’clock he came out and wanted to be loved.

time of the singing of the birds

2011-06-15T05:07:00.001-04:00

It must be coming on toward morning. Even though the clock says 4:30 and the sky is still dark, the birds are beginning to discuss the coming day. It is peaceful and I turned my soft music off so I can hear them singing better. Solomon said, “the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land;” I know he was speaking of the springtime, there is a little session of that every morning if you are up early enough to hear it.

I wish Louie were here. We could share this time of day together. He was an early morning person. I was never a voluntary early riser. I would get up if I needed to but only if I needed. He was always up trucking around. By the time I rolled out he would have coffee made and, in NM, the fire fixed so that Notah and I were all cozy. When I came out to the kitchen, he would be sitting at the table with his coffee and a book or magazine playing the radio softly. The door would be open and the early morning sunshine pouring in. Those days are past.

Now I look forward to going to the desert again in a few days. I like Notah’s new house. I can open the door to the east now if I have Keva’s old room and sit there with my book or just sit and watch the birds. It isn’t quite as good as having Louie with me, but it is close.

Time to get on with my day.

coyotes

2011-06-10T10:36:00.002-04:00

Notah said yesterday that often when they go out at night to lock the gate they can notice a coyote sitting on the other side of the driveway fence, just sitting there looking. How neat is that.

When I spent those few days at the new house last year I wasn’t there long enough to learn any of those things. I knew Notah and the kids had found coyote sign on the other side of the fence in the pasture; I knew there were indications of bear and mountain lions in the area. But I didn’t know the coyotes sat on the other side of the fence and watched the house. That would be very eerie. In fact, it makes the attitude of the Navajo toward coyotes understandable. I would probably be more than a little freaked if I lived in a hogan with a blanket door and looked out to see a coyote sitting at the edge of the firelight. No wonder stories of yee naaldlooshii are so commonly accepted!

People often view coyotes as predators and attempt to kill them at any opportunity. I consider the fact that they were here first. My brother seems to hate them with a passion. But then, he lives in Ohio. Coyotes were not originally native to Ohio so I guess I can forgive him the passion.

I’m pleased with Notah’s attitude toward the coyote. They make sure their Chloe is safe inside. Two of the larger dogs, Sweetie and Jack, stay outside, but they are both rescues from the desert and learned long ago to either defend themselves against coyotes or stay out of their way. Bella and Thain are either as large as or larger than a coyote so the two of them together could probably hold their own. And although they try to make sure the cats are safe inside when they need to be, if they do get out no one attempts to kill every coyote within shooting distance.

The other thing I enjoy about coyotes is hearing them sing at night. I’ve not seen any sitting along the drive, but I have heard them sing.
(This isn't my youtube recording. I just went looking for the sound I remember best.)

truth will change us

2011-06-05T16:45:00.000-04:00

I was reading a book, not a religious book, just a secular one and I came across the following; Truth is like a fire. . .It never –never-- leaves what it touches unchanged. That really struck me. The author was being philosophical about something mundane, but I immediately understood the statement as it applied to God’s Eternal Truth.

It makes me shiver to think how true that is. The Word of God has endured for more than 2000 years now as the standard for the lives of men and women. Political regimes have tried to destroy it. Religious organizations have tried to revise it. And Man has just blatantly tried to cast its teaching aside. But It has never-never-left the lives of men and women untouched.

I used to have a relative who was raised in a Christian family in a godly church congregation. When she was old enough she left home and pursued a couple exciting careers neither of which were conducive to living for the Lord. Of course she chose to go her own way in spite of the truth she had know from childhood.

She came home after a few years and seemed to repent. She went to church regularly and

professed highly. Within a short time she married a Christian man. They had four children and lived together in relative accord, but she could never completely abandon her desire for the world. After 10 or 12 years she found a reason to accuse her husband of infidelity and sued for divorce. The man, in his innocence, was shattered, but gave her most of the marital property and allowed her to have custody of the children.

A few years later she proved to be not as good a mother as he had expected and the lies she told her young children caused many hard feelings against their father until they were old enough to think for themselves. She followed a sinful life-style and when the children were older they began to tell of the her many immoral actions and the times her friends would bring her home and dump her on the sofa where she remained passed out cold. The ten and twelve year olds were left to try and undress her and get her into bed-or make her comfortable on the sofa.

Her bitterness eventually extended to the children and they left home to live with their father or with friends. Today, the woman lives in a lovely empty house. Her children are gone to their own lives and although they try to relate to her as children to parents, the way is rocky.

Her husband, whose influence she tried so hard to destroy, enjoys a good relationship with all his children. He lives almost next door to his youngest and his grand children. The others also have close contact with him.

Truth touched her life. She chose to walk away from it and deny God in her life. But she was not unchanged. Her end is worse than her beginning.

Truth will change us one way or another… Don’t ever think we can ‘take it or leave it.’ Once we have come face to face with the Word of God, It is there and It has an eternal effect on our life.

river of peace

2011-06-04T07:28:00.004-04:00

I love living for the Lord! It is so wonderful to wake up with a song on your mind and in your heart. What a blessing.

This morning, in that musing time between deep sleep and full waking, the hymn, River of Peace, came running through my mind. It had nothing to do with me because I hadn’t been thinking on peace the night before or even considering the subject, but there it was pouring it’s blessings through my whole being. “Oh, this river of peace Makes me perfect and whole; And its blessings increase, Flowing deep in my soul.:

The Lord spoke through Isaiah and said of His People, Behold, I will extend peace to her like a river (Isa. 66:12) That peace doesn’t come in the things of the world. There will always be wars and conflict, but within the heart of the child of God there is everlasting Peace.

Politicians and religious leaders and humanitarians go around talking of Peace and trying to legislate it or shame people into it. But world peace will never come through the auspices of mankind. Peace comes only through our fellowship with the Lord God. Natural men, men living in the flesh and for the flesh will never come to agreements and harmony. Every natural man strives only for himself, his own desire and benefit. Nothing except the love and grace of God within us can cause a man or woman to truly work for the benefit of others.

So the peace that was pouring through my soul this morning wasn’t that of peace in the world or peace with among my fellow men. It was the Peace of God that passes all earthly comprehension. D.S. Warner wrote of that Peace more than a hundred years ago and it is just as true now as it was then. This kind of Peace endures.

The River of Peace

I’ll sing of a river divine, Its waters from trouble release; More precious than “honey and wine,” That river, sweet river is peace.

It reaches from heaven to earth, It issues from under the throne; Great peace! oh, thy infinite worth! Sweet peace in my Jesus alone.

Oh, wonderful life-giving flood, Thy waters so crystal and pure Make glad all the “City of God”; forever thy blessings endure.

Oh, Jesus, the tempest of sin Is hushed into heavenly rest, Since tasting the pure, living streamThat flows from Thy crucified breast.

My moments as angels appear, All gliding so gently along Each dropping a blessing so rare, Enraptures my soul with a song.

Refrain:

Oh, this river of peace Makes me perfect and whole; And its blessings increase, Flowing deep in my soul

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14: 27

(If you don't know the melody here's a link for it. http://library.timelesstruths.org/music/River_of_Peace/

blessings

2011-05-29T12:08:00.000-04:00

I didn’t sleep very well last night-in fact I hardly slept at all. I must have overworked my left leg yesterday because, in spite of ice and pain meds and positioning and massage, it ached from top to bottom last night. It must have been three when I finally fell asleep.

Rachael had to be at work this morning at six and Michael and his dad had a tee time at eight thirty. I woke up for a very few minutes when Rachael let the dogs out and brought them back in. No, that isn’t quite right. I woke up when she let them out. I realized later that she had brought them back in. I woke up again a couple hours later when Michael let the dogs out. ( lol Our lives center around the dogs!) I stayed awake a little longer that time because did talk with Michael a bit about the prospect of heat today and when he and his dad would be back from golf. He also mentioned when his mom and the kids would be back from Freddie’s house. That’s all I remember until about an hour later when I really woke up.

As I was getting around and getting dressed I was thinking about how wonderful it is to simply manage my very small portion of the world and not have to think about the bigger picture. I have no housekeeping to plan. I have no lawn work or gardening to worry about. I have very few bills to pay. I have no shopping to do and no groceries to buy. I could look forward to having Michael’s’ family visit but not have to worry about where they sleep or what to feed them. And all of those things are a very great blessing!

When I retired my only thought was of not having to go to work every day on knees that hurt beyond most people’s imagination. I only looked forward to trucking around my small house and having my dog and cats to care for. I hadn’t been in a grocery store or WalMart in probably ten years; I hadn’t done yard work in longer than that; and my house work involved straightening my bedroom and bathroom and keeping the kitchen counters clean. Dianne came once a week to do laundry and clean for me (I love her like a daughter and she did that for me as much from love for me as from the small amount I was able to pay her) Rachael came every couple or three weeks to do my grocery shopping and spiff up the house when Dianne couldn’t get there. I paid someone to do my lawn. Becky and Steve did the ‘in-depth’ landscaping for me: scrubbing down and paint the deck, weeding the flower beds and trimming the out of control bushes. (I loved having them and Connor with me for those few weeks. I know they needed the money, but I still appreciated their help. Hard to believe that Connor must be almost four years old by now)

One problem was the my SS income was not large enough for all of that to continue. Another problem was that Rachael and Dianne worried constantly about me being there alone with no close help. And the last problem was that Rachael’s job made it more and more difficult for her to get down and spend a couple days checking up and looking out for my needs.

So I decided to sell my house and buy a little one in the Columbus area. That would put me closer to her and Michael and looking out for me would take only a couple hours a week rather than a two hour drive and a rush to get every thing done that I needed.

As it turned out they decided to get a house with a ‘mother-in-law’ space and move me in with them. How wonderful this is! The relatively small (by today’s financial standards for retirement) amount of cash I have and my mediocre income is not stressed by my trying to keep everything going alone. I can give Notah and Kerra and Rachael and Michael occasional cash assistance for housing and other expenses and not have to skimp to stretch my small income..

Now here are my blessings. For most of the past 35 years, with the Lord’s help I’ve carried the entire responsibility of raising both of my kids, taking care of a house and property, making all the financial decisions for myself and the family, as well as carrying al the responsibility of the day care. I never resented that and I never, until the last few years, felt it was a burden. The last few years before retirement, I did sometimes wish for another human being to take some of the responsibility for the decisions.

Now it is wonderful. I live a lot of the year with Rachael and Michael. I live the other part of the year with Notah and Kerra ( and my fantastic grandkids!) They manage the house and all of the things contingent with being ‘adults.’ I need not worry about the electric bill or the mortgage. I don’t worry about doing the grocery shopping or buying clothes for the kids. I don’t worry about the yard work or keeping fences sturdy or grass mowed. I don’t worry about having the house clean for company or anything other that looking forward to seeing them.

I never planned, during the years, when I was raising my kids that the care situation would be reversed when they were grown. I never planned that they would take care of ME when I was old. But now I find them doing it out of love. Neither of them has ever expressed one breath of resentment for the circumstances. They do everything they can to make me feel loved and wanted in their homes.

Rachael has had the responsibility of getting me to doctors and the hospital and rehab for my knee surgery, but I know beyond any doubt that if I were with Notah and Kerra, they would do the same things that Rachael and Michael have done. I know they would have worried as much as they have about my care and comfort in rehab and been as scared as Rachael was when the doctor discovered a strange heart rhythm during my surgery.

Now it is almost time to move to NM for the summer and fall. I look forward to it. I look forward to my new mobility and being able to walk outside with only a cane and get around more freely. I look forward to being able to do a little cooking for Kerra and maybe clean a bit when she needs it. I look forward to being with them. Period.

Those are my blessings. God promised me when Louie died that I would live to see my kids raised to live for Him and being responsible adults. I felt that His Promise was fulfilled when I saw Rachael off to college. I knew my last chick had left the nest and my job was done. Every year since then has been a year of grace.

And now, my blessings have been multiplied by their care for me.

Mika

2011-05-28T11:19:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was a difficult day here. We had to put Mika to sleep late Thursday night. That was a dark day for all of us. Mika was very well loved by not just her family but by friends all around.

On Thursday evening, we fed the dogs, and had supper. Mika laid beside me for all of the meal and then stretched out for a little nap. After supper I came in to put my legs up and R & M stretched out to watch a movie. Around 11:00 Michael put the dogs out for their late night potty and we all went to bed. About fifteen minutes later Rachael came knocking on my door saying, “Mama, there’s something wrong with my old dog!

Mika was pacing the floor and panting in obvious distress. Because of her arthritic hips she was having difficulty staying on her feet but was unable to breathe if she lay down. Her throat and chest were swollen and there was a large hard lump on her right side, just back of her ribcage. Nothing in my 50 years of experience dealing with sick and injured dogs gave me any idea of how to treat her. My only advice was to find an emergency vet clinic.

I began combing the internet to find an all night veterinarian in Westerville. With all the floods of data available online, it still requires that you enter the proper terms to get to the information needed. As it happened I had to remove the specific ‘Westerville’ from my search parameters and use ‘Columbus’ instead. That gave me a chart of five or six all night clinics. One was only a few minutes from us. Michael called them to make sure they were open and Rachael was dressed. They took Mika to the doctor about 12:30.

I didn’t know exactly what was wrong, but my ‘gut-feeling’ was that the large hard lump was not going to be treatable with out very expensive surgery. And about an hour later Michael called to say that Mika had a twisted stomach and barring a $2500 surgery could not be helped. The flipped stomach twisted her esophagus and that in turn was restricting her windpipe and breathing. There was no way to remedy that except surgery and although the prognosis for that was good, it wasn’t sure. Mika was 15 years old and the vet said that given her apparent breed mixtures, her life expectancy was limited. That was difficult but still what I expected.

The vet let Rachael sit with Mika for a few minutes and then euthanized her. They will have her ashes ready for us in a few days.

Mika went to college with Rachael almost 15 years ago. She was only a tiny ball of fluff. I don’t think Rachael expected her to get as big as she did, but Mika grew into a formidable protector. He pitch black coloring was intimidating. She liked women but was suspicious of strange men to the day she died. After she met any of Rachael’s guy friends she accepted them and was even friendly, but no stranger dared to approach Rachael with Mika’s threatening stare guarding her.

Her death was as traumatic as the passing of any human. Michael sent texts to all of their friends who knew and loved her. All of them responded with love and sympathy for Rachael. And for Michael. He had loved her too.

Mika, we miss you.

morning coffee

2011-05-21T23:13:00.002-04:00

I shared my coffee with Gabriel this morning. He hasn’t gotten much coffee in the last couple years. In fact ever since Dianne got me the “Fuzzy Duck” mug he has missed out on his favorite beverage.

He used to steal my coffee all the time if I set it down on the end table and walked away from it. He’s been know to chug a half cup at one time. I’d go to the bathroom or to answer the phone and come back to an empty cup! Then Dianne found the “Duck” mug. It is a mug with a wide base and a narrow top. Gabriel’s nose won’t fit in the top. And besides that there's a lid! Hee hee.

The “Fuzzy Duck” is a coffee shop in Morehead,Kentucky. (http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/183/1006958/restaurant/Kentucky/Fuzzy-Duck-Coffee-Shop-Morehead ) Dianne and Kris found it when they were visiting Tomy who was in school there. I’ve posted pictures of the mugs here before.

So this morning I had about half of my second cup of coffee left in a regular cup when I finished my breakfast at the counter. I gave Gable some and then, of course, had to share with Sebastian, too. Sebastian wasn’t very sure about it but Gabe was slurping it so it must be good, right? They shared back and forth until Gable licked out the last few drops.

He drank coffee for a long time before I found out it isn’t supposed to be good for dogs. Hmm. Guess Gabe didn’t read the same article I did. He has certainly enjoyed a lot of coffee in his past ten years.

I’ve not found much time to post blogs or even play on Facebook since I got home from rehab. I thought I’d be able to be online all the time when I finally got home but instead with the additional exercise I’ve found myself exhausted. I can make it till about noon and then I’m fading out fast.

My knee is doing great, but the complications have come with my ‘other’ knee and also with the swelling. I don’t know if you’d call them complications, but at any rate the whole combination has slowed me down.

I was able to practice a bit with the cane on Thursday with the therapist. And happily it went pretty well. Made me tired. Of course! But it again was my ‘old’ knee that hasn’t been repaired yet which gave me the biggest problem. It gets tired and then I have to stop. I don’t suppose I’ll be able to walk very far until I have it replaced too.

The other exciting thing is that Notah will be here in about three weeks plus a few days to take me to NM! I can hardly wait!! I’m anxious to see the kids and the dogs, as well as Notah and Kerra.

I guess this has been short but it has been better than nothing which is about all I’ve managed these last few weeks.

Early Morning, again

2011-05-11T09:22:00.001-04:00

It’s early morning and every bird in Westerville is singing outside my window. I hope I never have to live where I can’t hear the birds in the morning. The soft music playing from the Soundscapes station is a counter point to their singing.

It is so good to be home. I was in rehab for a little over three weeks. It was not unpleasant. The staff was exceedingly pleasant and helpful. The rehab went well and I liked the therapists. The Lord worked it out that I had a private room and I didn’t have to listen to someone else’s television or clatter. I didn’t really mind it, but by the last few days I was longing for home.

The first few days of homecoming were difficult because I was much more active than I was in the center. There I was up for a couple hours in the morning for rehab activities then I returned to my room where I spent the rest of the day reading, watching tv or playing on the computer. When I came home I had much more space to walk around and do things. I was exhausted the first two days.

The third day I had visits from two of the in home therapy staff. That involved a lot of walking around and evaluation. I was up with Rachael and Michael in the morning. After they left I sat down and fell asleep again. The first therapist woke me up. After her visit I sat down and put my feet up and before I knew it three o’clock rolled around and I woke up the intake nurse ringing the door bell! By the time that interview was finished, I was finished too. I only walked around my room for the rest of the day.

I need to recount one happening that blessed me while I was at rehab. When I arrived I was put in a double room with a very nice lady. I believe they said she was 85, very perky and talkative, even if a bit forgetful (Lord, help ME to be so bright when I’m 85!)

We spent a pleasant afternoon and evening sharing stories of kids and grandkids and homes and ailments. And the next morning about 11:00 she went home with her son! I missed her immediately.

All I could think of was that I would get a crabby room mate who spent the night yelling imprecations as I had already heard a couple people doing the night before. Call it selfish if you will, but I asked the Lord to please leave me in the room alone. Now here is the fantastic part.

Embarrassing as it is to say, with my knee surgery I could not clean myself when I went to the bathroom. But the Lord has a purpose in everything. That same day when I asked for help, the aide discovered a series of blisters on my back around my waist. They didn’t itch or bother me at all they were just there, in a horizontal line about five inches long. A mild panic ensued. She called the nurse, the nurse called the nursing director and the nursing director called the doctor! They all thought it appeared to be shingles! I guess shingles often follows surgery of various kinds. They immediately began asking if the area itched or burnt or hurt in any way. Nope, nothing. They only tickled when my slip slid over them if I stood up.

Okay, fine. The next day I was prescribed some sort of medication to deal with the shingles. I kept telling them I thought it was an allergic reaction to the elastic of my underwear pressing constantly against my waist. I spent most of my day sitting up in bed with continual pressure on my back. So although I’d never had that kind of reaction before I had occasionally had a reaction to rubber against my skin for a short period of time. Never mind. I got meds for shingles.

About three days later the nursing director came and asked to see my waist. The original blisters had dried up but there were more forming above the first line and at the ends. Was I sure they didn’t itch or hurt or burn? No, none of those things.

Now here it the blessing! The nursing director said she was going to move me to a private room so she could utilize both beds in this one! Because I had ‘shingles’ they had to keep me isolated! Wow! A private room! They need my permission to do this?! The aides scrambled all my stuff onto a medical cart, plunked me in a wheel chair and moved me to the other wing of the building! And the room they put me in was beautiful! A big window with nice blinds and pretty drapes, a hutch that held a flat screen TV and had drawers for my things under it, a private bathroom, a nice easy chair, two additional small arm chairs, an occasional table holding a pretty lamp and a bedside stand for personal junk!

In the process of all this happening Rachael arrived; so she was there to organize everything for me. Thank the Lord for kids like mine. They know me so well that I hardly have to verbalize my preferences! They just know. By the time she left my little bedside stand had been moved to the side of my bed with the drawers facing the bed so I could pull them out. My computer was on that stand and the power cord was connected in the wall and run to the computer. One of the smaller chairs was sitting beside the stand and held an extra pillow to prop up my sore leg. All of my things were put away and my extra dresses hung in the closet. It was wonderful.

The ‘shingles’? I don’t know… I continued to have little blisters on my back until about Wednesday of the week I was coming home. Then they began to go away. Now I only have some dry skin flakes that are sloughing off. They never did itch or burn. If I had shingles, it was the first case in history that lasted only two weeks and never bothered me at all. Of course, what ever they were, the Lord put them there to answer my prayer for a room by myself. How great is that!

What a fantastic Father we serve!

2011-04-16T15:34:00.003-04:00

Rachael and Michael came last evening and brought me a Starbucks. I asked for it because the coffee here is pure crap! It really is awful. The first couple meals I asked for it but then I gave up. It is just not worth drinking. But I regretted that coffee, as good as it was, all night long. I must have gone to the bathroom six times between 9:30 pm and 7:00 am! Good grief!

I’ve been thinking this morning about what in the world people must do when they don’t have a connection to the Lord. The occupational therapist came in yesterday and was commenting on how well I was doing. I told her I have been doing a lot of praying. She answered that I must have a direct line to God! And you know, I’ve never thought of that before, but it is absolutely true! I didn’t have any response to make except "Yes, I do."
Such a simple answer, but so full of meaning. I hoped at the time that she didn’t perceive it as arrogant or self righteous because there was simply no other answer! connection is so great to know. It is such a simple thing. Yes, I do have a direct line to the throne of God. I can come boldly before his throne to ask for help in time of need.

The world doesn’t have that assurance. Many of them do go to God in time of need, but they have no assurance about His answer. The have faith of a sort, but it is a blind faith; it is one of flinging a prayer into the air and hoping some eternal Being hears it and hoping they intervene in answer to it.

This surgery has been a fantastic open door to talking about what the Lord can do. Every one comments on the fact that my surgery was only a few days ago—three now. I can walk on the knee! It is stiff but it holds up longer than the right one which wasn’t operated on. The pain is less than what I have lived with for the last six years or so. This pain is not that bad. We have a fantastic God. I’ve thought sometimes, why doesn’t the Lord just heal this and have it over with. Well, now I know. Just look at the number of people who have found out what God can do for His Own!

2011-04-15T21:50:00.015-04:00

It is a lovely windy night. There is a fresh breeze coming in the window. I had my bath and washed my hair. That felt so good. I hadn’t had my hair washed since Monday night, nor had a bath since Tuesday morning. I was feeling very grungy. Now I feel wonderful.

My surgery happened at six thirty Tuesday morning. I am full of rejoicing at how the Lord has taken care of me through this whole thing. I have to say the surgery was a snap!--which is strange, because so many people were telling me how nasty it was. It went quickly and I was in recovery by eight thirty. I guess I was a little loopy afterwards, but still surprisingly, it was no more than I had expected. I left St. Anne’s on Thursday afternoon and came to Manor Care for rehab.

It seems as though I’ve been here for weeks. The staff are great. There is a nurse on duty at all times and the aides are excellent. They are generally prompt to answer when you call them and pleasant no matter how ridiculous your request. I feel as though I am imposing on people to ask them to do things for me that I ordinarily do for myself. Reaching the light cord or lifting my sore leg onto the bed. Or doing some other thing I should be able to do for myself but because of the surgery I can’t. I hate asking someone else to help me do those things

I was assisted with my shower by a nice young woman who gave me a lot of confidence in my being able to depend on her to hold me should I fall during the process. Some of the others worry me because I do know how heavy I am and when I out-weigh my helper by two or even three times, I’m not real sure they can hold me. Lisa is about my size and I knew that she could counterbalance my weight.

Shawnti was my aide the night when I first arrived. She is a perky young lady from West Virginia who was very willing to help me with any stupid thing I needed. I was happy to see her again tonight, even though she was working on the other end of the hall.

Becky is a very pretty woman who is of Ethiopian descent. She is the one who worries me most about counterbalancing. She is tiny and pretty. It seems like she should have some exotic difficult for me to pronounce name instead of something as mundane as “Becky.” She is probably my favorite.

Then there have been several others through, too. My first nurse was Gaye, a very heavy woman but patient and concerned. The lady coming on for morning shift is Connie; she is the opposite of Gaye. As heavy as Gaye is, Connie is thin. She, too, is caring and patient, if a little more organized and sprite. Osas came on shift at seven this evening. He is a young black man with a lovely accent, very well organized and caring too. I seem to be using the word ‘caring’ over and over, but that is imply the way they are.

My Physical Therapist is named Marcia. And she pronounces her name the way I have always thought it should be spoken: Mar-cee-a. I wasn’t allowed to walk around until she had done her assessment but once it was done she was very pleased with my progress. My bend angle was 71 degrees, up form 51 then 57! That apparently is very good for someone only3 days out of total knee replacement surgery!

Marcia took me outside and allowed me to sit in the pavilion this afternoon for a while. I enjoyed it, but would have liked it even more if I weren’t so very tired. Connie said the fatigue is a result of the surgery and everything I have been through the last few days. I’m sure that’s true, but I am just SO exhausted. I will be sitting and talking with someone and simply fall asleep in mid-sentence almost!

Speaking of that, I need to stop here or I’ll drop my laptop on the floor!

condemnation and conviction

2011-04-06T09:40:00.000-04:00

Although a lot of times these two words are used interchangeably, biblically we find there is a subtle but vital difference between them. I’ve been studying on them this morning, prompted by a devotional study someone sent me. The devotion presented the story of the woman who broke the alabaster box to demonstrate that There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus Rom. 8:1. But we need to look deeper into the word to find the full meaning of that phrase.

We are told, And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at meat in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster box of ointment, 38And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment. 39Now when the Pharisee which had bidden him saw it, he spake within himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him: for she is a sinner.. . . Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little. 48And he said unto her, Thy sins are forgiven. Luke 7:37-48 ( KJV)

We don’t know much about the woman in this story except that she lived a sinful life. The Bible doesn’t specify what her sin was, which illustrates the beauty of God’s love for us, demonstrating that whatever the sin it does not put us outside of God’s mercy.

When we come to the Lord with our sin and present ourselves openly to Him we receive His forgiveness. He doesn’t bring it up again or write it down for everyone to see. He forgives it and it’s gone.

That’s one lesson we can learn from this story. If you are wrestling with some guilt or condemnation for something that happened in your past that you’ve already laid before the Lord, the condemnation is not from God. He does not keep reminding us of the sins of our past. He has forgiven them and remembers them no more. If we have come to Him repenting and claiming the blood of Christ as our sacrifice for sin, our sins have been forgiven and God remembers them no more. That is the foundation for the transforming power of Salvation.

Now there is an extension of this lesson that many like to over look or set aside for their own convenience. We see clearly here that the sins of the past are forgiven; but the popular teaching today is that any future sins we may commit are also forgiven. Very often this teaching produces sincere believers who are filled with guilt and condemnation. They have no victory in the Lord and are constantly filled with a sense of failure in their walk with the Lord. When they speak with a pastor or mentor regarding that guilt and condemnation these scriptures are pulled out and dusted off. The young believer takes them to heart and endeavors to live for the Lord trying to believe that his sense of guilt is only Satan oppressing him.

I have a dear relative who lives constantly with the sense of failure in his Christian walk. He speaks the words of rejoicing and joy, but there is no depth of feeling or inner glow to back up the words. When we speak of joy in the Christian life, all he can express is his own unworthiness before God. And that was true once. Before we are born again in God’s sight we are most certainly unworthy. But the cleansing power of Salvation makes us worthy of the blessings God bestows on us.

We find the example of this in the story of the prodigal son. Remember the young man demanded his inheritance and then left home to live in profligate abandon. Then when his substance was gone he came to himself sitting in a pig pen and eating of the scraps given to the swine. He decided to return to the Father. We find that he acknowledged that he was unworthy to be a Son at all. And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. But once that acknowledgement of unworthiness had been made, all was forgiven. The heart of the Father overflowed in love and he lifted him up to the position of son-ship again.

The Father made him worthy. But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: 3And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry: For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. Luke 15: 21-24

Praise the Lord! We were totally unworthy of God’s grace! But in His Mercy He raised us up and made us worthy to be called heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ Rom. 8:17 How glorious is that! We are no longer unworthy, but we are sons of God! It just thrills my soul to its very depth!

But my relative can never experience that joy. He continues in his intermittent sin, believing the damnable teaching that we can never live without sinning and yet always convicted of his sin. He must realize there is a deep difference between the condemnation that our sins might bring upon us and the conviction that the Lord allows to rest on the heart that needs to repent of sin.

If you are still burdened by teachings that bring you no joy and only a constant sense of failure and unworthiness I beg you to seek God’s face privately. Don’t consult with ministers or teachers or anyone other than the Holy Spirit. This freedom from sin is a promise of God to His people! Set aside all the teaching you have known from a child or since you began to follow God. Look into the Word and find the promises of God.

Remember the Lord never requires of us anything that He does not supply the power to accomplish. Knowing that we can look at the directions Jesus Himself gave in the book of John and the Holy Spirit directed to be written in other places. John 5:14. . . Behold, thou art made whole: sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee. (John 5:14) and . . .Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more. (John 8:11) We see clearly here the direction is to ‘go and sin no more.' How then can we justify the teaching that we are all bound by sin in flesh and human frailties?

It is true! There is no condemnation for sins repented of and forgotten by God. But when sins committed in our present life rise up we find ourselves ‘convicted by our own conscience’ John 8:9 And in that small phrase we find the difference between condemnation and conviction. Conviction rests in the knowledge of unforgiven committed sin. Condemnation is the judicial finding that accuses one of wrong doing, in Christ there is no longer any accusation of wrong doing over past sins. There can only be conviction when sin is committed in the present.

. . .Let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as he is righteous. He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil. Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin (I John 3:7-9)

it's over!

2011-04-06T09:18:00.000-04:00

The good news is that we all survived Rachael's spring cleaning! Our house is painted and scrubbed and re-arranged to her satisfaction! I was exiled to the living room for only one afternoon and returned to a room that had been turned end for end and scrubbed to within 'an inch of its life.'

The dogs and cats were totally confused for a couple days. Nothing was where it was supposed to be! The bed was on the wrong side of the room. My chair sat facing a different direction, in the wrong place. The dog beds had gone up to the washing machine for a well-deserved laundering so they were completely gone! Cloudy's hidey hole behind the bureau was gone. The bureau was in the opposite corner and Rachael had pushed it so close to the wall that he couldn't get behind it. (Last night, in defense of my beautiful bamboo plant and the photograph opposite it, I pulled the bureau out a couple inches, so that Cloudy could squeeze behind it. He fits through a very skinny opening, but the little dogs require a wider one! ) Chaos had torn thorugh their well ordered world.

Now everything is back in place, by which I mean, all my animals have gotten used to the new arrangements. The dog beds have come back all clean and spiffy. Zee ate two baby rats at one sitting and all is right with my world!

My knee replacement is now six days away...

spring cleaning

2011-03-29T10:23:00.000-04:00

Rachael is doing her spring cleaning. Now she learned to spring clean from ME so I really shouldn’t complain, but she is like an inexorable force plowing through the house. The dogs are all confused because she is home all day and they are used to having their days to themselves and me. They have their morning run and beg for bits of my breakfast then as soon as R & M leave it’s in on the bed for their morning nap. Nothing disturbs them until I go out for lunch; then, if there’s no rain, they go out for their noon tear-around-the-backyard. Annnnd then back in to snooze the afternoon away. This week everything is topsy-turvy.

First off, late Sunday evening R & M moved all the living room furniture to the garage. Lots of people content themselves with simply moving the furniture around. Not my Rachael! The furniture goes! I haven’t been evicted yet, but the promise is that it will happen tomorrow . . .or maybe tonight. I’m not sure.

Maxim's romping room

We have a big living room and Maxim believes it has been emptied to provide him with romping space. The little dogs, too, like racing from one end to the other. Even Mika got in on the fun yesterday morning when she played a little with Maxim. She can’t play long because her arthritis gives her grief, but she was wruffing at him and jumping around a bit, chasing the ball with him.

The only one who doesn’t care for the room is Coal. Cats prefer cozy corners and soft sofas. He feels very exposed in that big empty space, I think.

One of the biggest projects has been the painting of the stair wall and the hallway leading into the kitchen and den. Those areas were still white, the base coat that was on them when we moved in. Late Sunday evening I heard this ratcheting sound against the wall behind me. I couldn’t imagine what it was: Michael was removing the railing from the wall of the stairs.

As difficult as it seems that wall went quickly. Our living room has a vaulted ceiling and the stair wall goes straight up from the floor to the top of the roof. Michael has one of those ladders that adjust to put on stairs so other than the stretch to run the roller it wasn’t that impossible. It is now a pretty shade of green that matches the living room.

Rachael was telling me about Maxim’s reaction to the whole process this morning. Labs do more thinking that any other breed of dog, I think. They wouldn’t let him run up and down the steps behind them; that’s what he would have preferred to do. He has to be in the center of anything that is going on to keep tabs on the whole deal. But with the stair painting was more than a bit dangerous to have a big brown dog under foot; other times Rachael is used to just stepping around and over him.

The perch at the top of the stairs

Michael made Maxim stay on the balcony at the top of the stairs. He lay there and watched them paint. The first time they moved the ladder down a couple steps he really thought he needed to come and investigate but Michael sent him back to the landing. He went but then lay down just as close to the edge as possible and still be ‘on the landing.’ His toenails, not his toes, mind you, not his feet, but his toenails hung over the very edge. He looked down the steps at R & M with his wrinkles and ears falling forward around his eyes and nose. He watched intently as they edged and rolled the paint; Rachael said you could see him trying to figure out just what in the world they were doing. Why would anybody spend an hour petting the wall? It was immensely boring, but he watched every second of the process.

Finally they got to the bottom and took everything down. And Maxim was permitted to come down off his perch at the top of the stairs. He is so funny.

All day yesterday Rachael painted, edging the walls and finishing the kitchen. I’m sure he was relieved when she put the refrigerator back in place, and washed her paint pan and brush before she quit to go take her shower. Whew! What a long day! He was ready to lay down in the den chair to rest!

And today will be another big day. I believe the beautiful expanse of play space in the living room is gonna get scrubbed at some point in time-whether before or after the windows get washed. I don’t know.

More tomorrow.

satan leaves us 'chronically dissatisfied'

2011-03-16T09:49:00.001-04:00

While I was reading this morning the news was on in the background. A sound byte caught my ear. The commentator was saying that new studies indicate that the ‘pursuit of happiness’ may not, after all, be good for us. The psychotherapist or psychologist or behaviorist who was being interviewed (I didn’t catch it soon enough to collect this detail) was saying that people tend to go for the short term gratification rather than what is best for the long haul. When they do that they are ‘chronically dissatisfied” because the short term goals for happiness are seldom lasting and they are left always wanting more.

For me that statement can be compared to being dead tired but instead of stopping work, having a decent meal and a rest we grab a quick cup of coffee or an alcoholic ‘pick-me-up’ and keep going. The immediate effect is that we are no longer tired, but in the long run we crash. The immediate gratification is accomplished but once that initial spurt is gone we are still dead tired.

As happens so many times when I am here alone in the quiet of my room my mind extended this to the spiritual province. People often look at the children of God and ask, “How can they speak of joy when things are so bad for them? How can they say they have peace when their life and the world are in turmoil? How can they be happy when they have absolutely nothing to be happy about?” And the lady this morning gave me the modern psychological key to an answer. The child of God does not operate in pursuit of the short term goal. We don’t pursue temporal happiness.

I thought of Paul writing to the Philippians when he told them, “Now I want you to know and continue to rest assured, brethren, that what has happened to me [this imprisonment] has actually only served to advance and give a renewed impetus to the spreading of good news (the Gospel). So much is this a fact that throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest here my imprisonment has become generally known to be in Christ that I am a prisoner in His service and for Him. And also most of the brethren have derived fresh confidence in the Lord because of my chains and are much more bold to speak and publish fearlessly the Word of God [acting with more freedom and indifference to the consequences]. (Phil 1: 12-14 Amplified) Look at the long term benefits Paul was seeing in his bad times. His short term situation was not provoking of any joy or happiness or peace, but he was fixed on the Long Term.

Further down in the same chapter he reiterates again, 19For I am well assured and indeed know that through your prayers and a bountiful supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ (the Messiah) this will turn out for my preservation (for the spiritual health and welfare of my own soul) and avail toward the saving work of the Gospel. Now look where Paul was aiming! This is in keeping with my own eager desire and persistent expectation and hope, that I shall not disgrace myself nor be put to shame in anything; but that with the utmost freedom of speech and unfailing courage, now as always heretofore, Christ (the Messiah) will be magnified and get glory and praise in this body of mine and be boldly exalted in my person, whether through (or ‘by’) life or through (or ‘by’) death. For me to live is Christ [His life in me], and to die is gain [the gain of the glory of eternity]. We can see by this that Paul wasn’t worrying about what was happening just at the moment. His Joy lay in the final accomplishment.

In this statement he is looking toward the “spiritual health and welfare” of his soul and that the work of the gospel might be accomplished. He isn’t looking for personal immediate satisfaction or accomplishment. His desire is that Christ might be lifted up and glorified by what ever is happening to Him. He is looking down the road for himself and others. His goal is the ‘joy set before him’ as was the vision of Christ when he endured the cross. (Heb 12:2)

The child of God has discovered that the pleasures of the world hold no lasting satisfaction. We might labor for the day or week or month to purchase some object or entertainment that lasts only for a short time and is gone, leaving us with an emptiness within. We might spend the night or the week in laughter and partying and fun, but when it is over there is nothing left but dust and brittle memories. We might purchase fine foods and exclaim how satisfying they are to the palate, but the next morning we are again hungry. The fine food satisfied no longer than a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of milk.

Jesus knew this when He said, Labour not for the meat which perisheth, but for that meat which endureth unto everlasting life, which the Son of man shall give unto you: for him hath God the Father sealed. And He talks of enduring satisfaction. This is the bread which came down out of heaven; not as the fathers ate and died; he who eats this bread will live forever." (John 6: 14, 58) The child of God is partaking of that long term satisfaction and has his eyes on the long term goal.

The testimony of Paul, again in Philippians, has always been an encouragement: But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead. Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 3:7-14)

Paul wasn’t ‘chronically disappointed.’ His daily joy and satisfaction rested in the high calling of God in Christ. And there was his blessing. We should take note of his example and be sure our pursuit of happiness rests in achieving Christ’s ends and not the temporal ones of this world.

surgery preliminaries

2011-03-15T18:36:00.001-04:00

I had a very difficult day yesterday. That was my appointment for my pre-surgery physical and mobility evaluation. The day began at7:00 when I had to be at General Medical Consultants for my medical checks. Although it took almost two hours the results were excellent. The doctor actually seemed surprised to find my heart was normal and so was my pulmonary system. He asked if I had had any surgeries in the last three years, when I said no he went back longer and read off a long list of possibilities. And to each one I said no.

He referred to my chart and said, “That’s surprising! You are … 65 and never had any problems.” He double checked and sure enough it was true. I've praised the Lord many times for His care over me through the years and here I was given definite verfication of those praises.

Then he checked the pulse in my lower legs and feet. I assume he was checking my pulse because he put his stethoscope at pulse points along my legs and feet. I was a little worried about what he might find with my circulation because my knees swell so often and sometimes I think the swelling cuts off the blood flow to my feet. But with both legs he remarked in a surprised voice, “Good!” “Very good!”

From my medical exam I went to the physical therapy section to have the range of motion in my knees checked and also to be given a series of exercises to begin practicing before surgery so that I could control swelling afterwards. A very nice young woman took me through those and answered several questions I had regarding rehabilitation.

The only problem with the whole process was the amount of walking that was necessary and the amount of time I had to spend sitting with my knees bent. Both of those activities cause severe pain in my knees. The more my knees hurt the more pressure I put on my shoulders and elbows to lessen the pressure on my knees. In spite of having all of the offices in one building I had quite a bit of walking to do. By the time I got home I was hurting pretty bad.

I took off those hateful pants that I had worn for the sake of modesty while I was rolling around on various exam tables and put on my comfortable dress. I grabbed a quick lunch and went to sit down. In spite of putting my legs up and supporting my elbows and shoulders I still hurt. I took aspirin and ibuprophen for the inflammation and pain. The pain receded but not completely. Two aspirin and two ibuprophen at once is a pretty hefty dose so I didn’t dare to take any more for six hours. Then I took two vicodin. Now the acetaminophen in vicodin may not do me any good at all, but the codeine certainly does! I was still so totally relaxed this morning that I wondered if my legs would hold me when I got up!

But God is good. I was actually surprised (I don’t really know why) to find everything looking so good for the surgery. Even my blood pressure was a very nice 126/73.

Today I am sitting with my feet up recovering from the effects of the pain drugs. LOL

by a mighty hand, and by a stretched out arm,

2011-03-04T09:18:00.003-05:00

I’ve always been blessed by a particular concept in the Bible. The Old Testament tells us repeatedly how God saved his people by His Highty hand and Outstretched Arm. The first scripture describing this is in Deut4:33-35: God assayed to go and take him a nation from the midst of another nation, by temptations, by signs, and by wonders, and by war, and by a mighty hand, and by a stretched out arm, and by great terrors. . .Unto thee it was shewed, that thou mightest know that the LORD he is God; there is none else beside him.And again in Deuteronomy 26:8 And the LORD brought us forth out of Egypt with a mighty hand, and with an outstretched arm, and with great terribleness, and with signs, and with wonders:

The image of the arm of God reaching down to intervene in my behalf thrills me to the depths of my being. And I think again, “What, who am I that God would intercede for ME?” But I know He does exactly that. I may never have seen a literal arm reaching out to work for me, but I have certainly seen the effects brought about by that Arm. Not just once but many times. And I rejoice that when I come to Him as a humble petitioner that His Mighty Hand and Outstretched Arm will be extended for me.

I pastor I once sat under preached that we must ‘claim the gifts” of the spirit. I’ve known others who encouraged their congregations to “claim the power, claim the authority to do wonders in Jesus’ name” but to me that is too arrogant for words. That is Satan taking gifts of the Spirit and corrupting them for his own purposes. I have no ‘claim’ to such gifts or power and wonders.

It becomes a matter of pride for men to say, ‘I am a Christian and I ‘claim’ this power and this authority!” It is a matter of overwhelming hubris.

I remember the first time I heard the word ‘hubris’ used. It was by a professor of Comparative Literature who was discussing the attitude of some Greek or other. I gathered the word’s meaning from the context but later I went and looked it up. Hubris is defined as excessive pride or arrogance; in classical tragedy it usually leads to the hero’s downfall. We find a trend in modern religion for men rise up in arrogance, in hubris and ‘claim’ the gifts of the Spirit and ‘claim’ the authority God has for us and ‘claim’ the power over demons and sickness and all other matters of life.

But how can I ‘claim’ something that is already working in my behalf. That Mighty Hand and Outstretched Arm thrill me. I don’t need to ‘claim’ it. It is already Mine! The gifts are there as the Father distributes them and all the tantrums we may throw demanding them or 'claiming' them won’t get us a gift that the Father doesn’t have for us. The only ones who find it necessary to “claim” the gifts are those who don’t have them. And the only ones who don’t have them are those who aren’t truly born again. They may ‘claim’ to be but the gifts will quietly follow their salvation not be more obvious that their righteousness. If the righteousness isn't there then the gifts being displayed are false. They are not of God but of Satan.

When Jesus sent the apostles out to teach He told them; The harvest truly is great, but the labourers are few: pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he would send forth labourers into his harvest. Go your ways: behold, I send you forth as lambs among wolves. Carry neither purse, nor scrip, nor shoes: and salute no man by the way. And into whatsoever house ye enter, first say, Peace be to this house. And if the son of peace be there, your peace shall rest upon it: if not, it shall turn to you again. And in the same house remain, eating and drinking such things as they give . . . And heal the sick that are therein, and say unto them, The kingdom of God is come nigh unto you.

But into whatsoever city ye enter, and they receive you not, go your ways out into the streets of the same, and say, Even the very dust of your city, which cleaveth on us, we do wipe off against you: notwithstanding be ye sure of this, that the kingdom of God is come nigh unto you. . .

Jesus didn't talk about giving prophecies or revelations. He didn't instruct them to organize powerful events or miracle campaigns. He sent them out to preach the Word.

Some like to skip over that part and go right to the verses following it because those verses establish their right to ‘claim’ authority and is the source of their ‘power.’ 17And the seventy returned again with joy, saying, Lord, even the devils are subject unto us through thy name. Notice that they were rejoicing not in the message and the power of that Glorious Salvation, but in the more attention getting fact that they could cast out devils. Jesus said: Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Notwithstanding in this rejoice not, that the spirits are subject unto you; but rather rejoice, because your names are written in heaven (Luke 10:19-20). They had power over all things YET He said don’t rejoice in this, but rejoice because you name is written in heaven. Jesus simply gives us the power to do these things, but the most important aspect of our lives and ministry is the power of Salvation acting in the way we live from day to day.

Too many ministers today are rejoicing in the attention-getting, self aggrandizing thing like casting out devils, healing the body, ‘ministering’ in all and sundry areas, taking authority unto themselves more than glorifying Christ. I look at the TV preachers and the those who command ‘mega-churches.’ WHO is being glorified and lifted up? What do we see when we look at their organizations? Surely not Jesus; oh they are claiming (there’s that word again) to be doing a work for Jesus, but WHO do we think about when we look at those great healing campaigns and revival campaigns and huge church buildings and all the ‘outreach’? Who do we see? Jesus? No, we think first of the Man who is running the show. We admire him; He is supposedly doing it in the name of Jesus, but, more importantly or rather more noticeably, he is building his own reputation and wealth, and popularity. It isn’t Jesus who is being lifted up; it is the man who is the charismatic organizer of the whole thing. It is not the Mighty Hand and Outstretched Hand of God, it is the Flesh being put on display by the natural talents of a Human elevating himself.

I don’t need to ‘claim’ any authority. It was given to me and it is there for me to use. I need not ‘claim’ any power over demons or sickness; it is there for me to use. I don’t need to build myself up by telling everyone how many prayers I’ve had answered or how the Lord has worked by my hand to heal thesick and injured. I need not claim any great revelations of God’s Plan for Mankind. Those things are already laid out in the Word.

All I need do is look to the Lord and say, “Father, I’m you child and you have promised me all these things. Now I’m asking that you would do this thing for me.’ And then I can pray the prayer of faith; I can rebuke any demon; I can preach or teach any message that God lays on my heart; I can see miracles happen through my prayers; I can see storm winds turned aside; I can see nature do the Will of God through my asking.

And others will see it too--not because I have taken the initiative in accomplishing these things, but because I have put myself in the background and lifted up Christ.

I think of the multitudes who came to Jesus and after Him, to Paul and Peter and John and all the others.

They didn’t go around telling every one about the miracles they had done.

They didn’t go and brag about the messages they had preached or the things that had been ‘revealed’ to them. They didn’t tell people about the demons they had cast out of men and women.

All they did was preach Salvation and glorify God. And all the miracles and healings and exorcisms followed after them.

Jesus told his disciples gathered with Him on the hill before He ascended into Heaven: And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

So then after the Lord had spoken unto them, he was received up into heaven, and sat on the right hand of God. 20And they went forth, and preached every where, the Lord working with them, and confirming the word with signs following. Mark 16:16-20 The signs followed the preaching of the Word, not after deep theological teachings, not after advertisements of great healing campaigns, not after self proclamation on the part of the disciples, but pure and simple preaching and teaching of the Word.

The religious community today has the cart before the horse! They are elevating the miracles and works above the preaching of the Word. But that isn't the order that Christ established.

When Peter and John were preaching in Samaria a man named Simon was impressed by the miracles the performed that he came and asked that they Give me also this power, that on whomsoever I lay hands, he may receive the Holy Ghost.

But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money.Thou hast neither part nor lot in this matter: for thy heart is not right in the sight of God. Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee. For I perceive that thou art in the gall of bitterness, and in the bond of iniquity. After Peter’s rebuke the man did repent, but we aren’t told that he asked any more for that power. He didn’t have that pride that demanded the show.

I’m so thankful that God is faithful. And he cares for me with His Mighty Hand and Outstretched Arm. I only need to ask Him!

It isn’t by MY strength or MY power but by the power of God. Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit Zech 4:6 Amen! I need not ‘claim’ any authority or might or power, it is right there-- at the end of that Mighty Outstretched Arm. Thank you, Lord!

a rainbow on the floor

2011-02-17T08:44:00.000-05:00

There’s a rainbow on the floor in the den. I saw it yesterday morning when I turned around to stand up from fixing lunches. It’s tiny as rainbows go—probably like four inches square, but it has all the colors of the spectrum in it.

It was a little miracle for a few seconds. A tiny promise from God appearing suddenly in the darkness of early morning, it shone brightly. Of course, there is a very logical reason for it and I looked to see it again today. Michael changed the light on the turtle tank from a plain light bulb to one of those coiled energy efficient bulbs. It gives off a white light that breaks into a spectrum of colors as it shines through the glass of the fish tank and the water inside. When the light in that one little spot is condensed on the floor it makes a rainbow.

But knowing the scientific principles of its creation makes it no less beautiful there on the floor in the dimness.

And even more it made my mind go back to the promise God made to Noah as he and his family thanked Him for their survival in the flood.

20And Noah builded an altar unto the LORD; and took of every clean beast, and of every clean fowl, and offered burnt offerings on the altar. 21And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done. 22While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease. Gen 8: 20-22

12And God said, This is the token of the covenant which I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations: 13 I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between me and the earth. 14And it shall come to pass, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow shall be seen in the cloud: 15And I will remember my covenant, which is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall no more become a flood to destroy all flesh. 16And the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth. 17And God said unto Noah, This is the token of the covenant, which I have established between me and all flesh that is upon the earth. Genesis 9:12-17

technology

2011-02-12T09:51:00.005-05:00

I sometimes get frustrated with modern technology and electronics. ( I have a brand new Mp3 player that has nothing on it. I bought it last summer so I could use it while the family was doing other things and I was on my computer. I haven’t a clue how to load it. Notah was going to help me. SETH volunteered. Hmmm. Yeah. He’s eleven. But then we got involved in moving and we never got it done.)

But this morning I turned on the weather to see what the temp was and what the day had in store. Then I stopped griping for a bit. I watched as the man explained the giant map behind him. There was a band of clouds (indicating cold weather) across southern Canada and a little bit of the US. There was another band across the middle part of the country that was indicated as ‘mild.’ And finally from about southern Colorado and northern Arizona/NM on south it was positively ‘warm!’ It was neat. From one side of the country to the other were these wide bands of weather. And it probably will be the way he said.

We used to joke about the weatherman, but anymore the weather forecasters are pretty much spot-on. The cold that they forecast usually does show up. The coming snow or rain usually does arrive within a few hours of when they call for it. The amount may vary, but I won’t quibble over that. I mean, how can they tell how many inches of snow those clouds will ‘decide’ to drop on Columbus?

There is a channel on my TV cable called Weather On Demand. I have it programmed to show the current temperatures and weather, as well as the forecasts, in Westerville, Belen, Wilmot and Gallup. The four places in this world where the people I love live. It is amazing to me. I can only wonder what my old Pappy would say about it.

And then I love my cell phone. It enables me to talk with Notah almost every morning of the week as he drives to work. I grew up and lived most of my life in the days of long distance charges. Anyone older than 35 probably remembers when we had to be careful how long we talked to someone in a city 50 miles away because there was an extra charge for each minute of conversation beyond the first three. And talking to someone on the other side of the country cost two arms and a leg for just those three minutes. So we never called to simply chat. A long distance call was made for important events only.

NOW I spend 30 to 40 minutes every morning taking with Notah about everyday happenings and what’s going on in the southwest. It’s seldom anything very important, just the kind of conversation a family might have over breakfast or dinner when everyone gathers and shares their day with one another. My heart sometimes aches for Grandma Howe and other mothers who raised their children and sent them out into the world not to hear their voices for months sometimes years. How much their hearts must have yearned to talk with them!

My brother in law has been sick this last week. Notah gave Helen his home cell phone so she could keep in touch with him and her kids even while she was in the hospital with Leonard. I consider myself as being pretty current with life in the 21st century, but my mind boggles sometimes.

And then let’s talk about this neat ‘app’ on my word processing program that allows me to check spelling, look for synonyms and antonyms for words, check my grammar and even look up the meanings of words in several different dictionaries. How astonishing is that! There’s even a button to click to give me a language translation! Gone is the need for a dictionary or thesaurus. Gone is the need for a grammar handbook. Almost gone is the need to proofread for spelling, although the application does tend to skip over things like plane and plain or red and read; BUT even those sometimes have a line of little red dots under them if it doesn’t make sense in the sentence!! This computer is smarter than most people!

I have to say that no matter how much I crab about my wonderful little laptop (Oh yes, I have to mention that, too), no matter how much I complain when my laptop freezes up or contracts a virus, I freely admit that the technology that produced it is so far beyond my comprehension it is like Gabriel trying to understand how his bits of dog food drop from our fingers. He has no idea how it happens he only knows that it does. That’s the way I am with my computer.

I’m of the generation that can remember simple computers filling rooms. The vast machines had ranks of blinking lights that conveyed information only to the most informed. There was a special 'language' that was used to transfer information to them. The next step was when a computer was reduced to the size of a kitchen table, but you still had to speak the 'language.' Then it jumped to a rather cumbersome system that sat on the table. Finally it was broken into component parts called ‘the monitor,’ the ‘keyboard,’ and the working part that I always called a ‘PC’ even though I know that means ‘personal computer.’ I don’t know what that box with the mother board and all the other stuff in it is called. This one was usable by the informed secretary or writer because some guy had created a program called 'Windows' that made it simple to work with. And now, now I can sit here with my knees propped on my recliner foot rest holding my little laptop on a little base in front of me. And this laptop isn’t even particularly small, slim or light weight. I've seen some advertized which are smaller than the regular 8 X 10 notebook kids use for homework.

More later. My fingers have worked too hard on this keyboard. When-oh-when will I be able to just talk and have the words appear on my screen....yeah, I know, I've seen a basic one advertized...wow.

a Friday morning

2011-02-11T08:21:00.001-05:00

My ‘kids’ have all gone to work. My dogs are settled on the bed taking their morning nap. I love the peacefulness of this time of day. Not that the rest of my day isn’t peaceful, but this time especially it seems to settle over the world. I’ve often thought what a sweeping effect being right with the Lord has in the lives of His Children. It permeates every little cranny of my being. It affects my thoughts and the things I do. It influences my dealings with my family and others I meet. And when I sit down in the silence, there is nothing on my heart to disturb my mind. And that is a wonderful state to be in.

I’ve been burdened this week because Leonard, my brother in law, Helen’s husband has been in the hospital with multiple problems. I haven’t been able to focus real well on mundane things because I’ve been occupied in praying and thinking about him and Helen. They celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary a few weeks ago and his illness I know is a terrible blow to Helen. She loves her family deeply and holds them close in her heart. How awful it must be for the companion of 50 years to be in danger of being taken from her. My heart aches for her.

I am nearly finished with The Fellowship of the Ring, the first book of The Lord of the Rings trilogy. If you’ve read here before a few weeks ago I picked up The Hobbit for the first time in quite a few years. I became involved in reading it again for probable the fourth or fifth time. When I finished it, I thought I would most likely re-read The Lord of the Rings as well. That rested for a few weeks but I did start the first book. It is lying on the counter between the den and the kitchen, waiting for me every morning as I finish my breakfast and coffee after R & M have left for their day.

I say again, if your only familiarity with hobbits and elves and dwarfs and orcs and trolls and vast sweeping epics of heroism and gallant feats has been the movie version you must definitely take the time to read the books. It will catch and hold your attention for all 1200 pages.

This is Caradhras, the mountain the Nine Walkers endeavored to climb over.

I found a fantastic site online that’s called ‘Middle Earth Tours.’ If you are a Tolkien fan you will love it. I enjoy illustrations that have captured the feeling of the text. The artists on these pages have evidently read and loved Middle Earth. If your only exposure to the world of Middle Earth has been the movie, this site might encourage you to read the entire series of Hobbit books.

My day has begun in quietness and burdens and awed fantasy. And over it all the Peace of God remains. Isn’t that wonderful?

Happy in the Lord

2011-02-03T08:49:00.000-05:00

I am happy in the Lord since my sins are washed away. And the love of God is filling all my soul . . . .Happy in the Savior! I am happy in the Savior I am happy in the Savior. I am happy in the Lord.
Lots of times I wake up with a song going through my head. I haven’t heard this one for many years. It was one of the favorites we used to sing at the Carrolton church a long, long time ago. I can still see sister Fry at the piano and brother Dean leading singing. I heard recently that the congregation has declined to a very few. That makes me sad but no group can deny the man of God and prosper for long.

BUT today I am happy in the Lord. I just sat down and Gable came looking up at me, asking to be in my chair. All it took was a little pat and up he came. He used to lay on my legs but his little weight makes my knees hurt unbelievably so he has learned to snuggle down between me and the arm of my chair. It’s much cozier and warm there anyway. On days like today warm is a good thing!

Two days of icy rain and icy roads and cold are pretty much over. The sun is shining now and the cold, although it is still in the low teens thermometer wise, is crisp and energizing.

Michael went off to work this morning none the worse for his crash while he was taking the trash down. That is how treacherous the ice was. Our drive was has an easy slope and he was walking carefully along the edge where he thought he would have some traction. Famous last thought. The ice was so sharp where it had thawed and refroze and been driven over that it cut his hand like little bits of glass.

Rachael is due to go in to work early today. By course of elimination I think she is becoming her boss’s go-to-guy. First the associate manager (who we referred to as ‘the Slacker’) was transferred to another store, leaving only two co manager and the head. Now the other co- has been blessed with a new baby in the family so he has chosen to take his vacation now. That leaves only the manager and Rachael. So any difficulty that requires consultation with the rest of his ‘team’ means he and Rach must put their two heads together and figure it out! It also means that if there is a gap in coverage, the manager calls Rachael. There is no one else to call. I keep telling her when she grumbles to ‘hush.” It is only one more step toward her goal of having her own store. And THAT is when she will put in for a transfer to Albuquerque!!

I can hardly wait! To be able to visit back and forth with Notah and Rachael both! Right there in the same general area! To be able to go home with Notah for the weekend or the week and to see my grandkids as they are growing up. To be able to go to Gallup sometimes and see Helen and Dorothy and our family there. And most of all to live again in my desert.

With that happy thought I’m going to stop!

872. My Hope Is Built On Nothing Less- Hamilton Landrum, song leader

2011-02-03T00:32:00.001-05:00

Sometimes a song just sits on your soul and you can play it over and over and the blessings just keep flowing. This song did that for me tonight. This must be the third or fourth time I've played it and the words just keep blessing me.

hope is built on NOTHING LESS than Jesus blood and righteousness." What better more solid more wonderful basis could my hope rest on?

When darkness veils his Face I REST on his UNFAILING GRACE! I can't see it, but I know it won't fail and it won't waver.

When all around my soul gives way, HE IS ALL MY HOPE! Just listen to that! Doesn't it just reverberate in your soul? Don't the praises just bubble out! Maybe not in loud noise or jumping up and down, but just bubble up like a pot slowly simmering with little bubbles of joy bursting on top!
Listen again. And keep listening until you have cleared every thing with the Lord and you KNOW this is where your hope lies!

not quite yet

2011-02-02T08:41:00.000-05:00

Ohio had an ice storm. It wasn’t really an ice storm, but more of a rain storm that froze when it hit the ground. It didn’t affect me too much; Michael went to work early Tuesday morning when the main roads had a good coating of salt and even Rachael went to the grocery in the afternoon without too much trouble. By evening though the ice had caught up with the salt and the roads were frozen over. Rachael had to run to the gas station up the road and they called me to say I couldn’t go to my doctor’s appointment on Wednesday morning. They were having trouble standing; people were falling in the parking lot on plain flat ground. They weren’t taking me out on that ice.

By after dinner, we were beginning to think about the possibility of the power going off. Our lights flickered occasionally and one bank of lights actually went out in the Blue Jackets’ arena during the first period. Rachael went around and closed all the drapes and blinds to keep what heat we had in. The girl grew up in an old farmhouse and knows how to conserve heat.

When the dogs made their last trip outside for the night around nine thirty Rachael had to go back and help poor old Mika across the ice. The little dogs had been dancing across the ice all day but Maxim and Mika had fallen through until this last trip. By that time there was a heavy layer of ice on the snow that supported the dogs’ weight. Maxim made it in, but Mika was too tired from slipping on the ice.

R & M collected Mika (I imagine Michael carried her up the stairs) and went to bed. Before they were finished in the bathroom, the power went off. I heard their feet hurrying around and knew they were on their way down to make sure I had a light. I didn’t of course. There were two flashlights and an oil lamp, but none of them were handy.

I was sitting on the side of the bed when they burst in to my room with a flashlight. They got me situated with flashlights and the power came back on. I lay back down with my flashlight cord wrapped in my fingers and fell asleep. Around midnight the power went off again and when I woke up at 12:30 it was dark. I got up and lit my candle. Then I lay down again and spent a few minutes enjoying the silence of the flickering golden glow. I’ve sometimes thought we should pick one evening every week to turn all the electricity off in our house and use only candles and oil lamps. The ambience they produce slows life to a place where we can appreciate all of our blessings.

At two o’clock when I woke up to go the bathroom, it was still off; but a few minutes later it came back on. I moved to my chair and went back to sleep.

This morning the news commentator reported that there were nearly 100,000 homes without power in central Ohio. Ice appears to be about two inches thick on top of the snow. Roads appear to be wet, but Michael reported last night that the wetness was simply a reflection off solid ice.

Right now it seems clear, but the wind is blowing so hard I can hear the howl even in my room. Our house here is very well insulated and sounds from outside seldom penetrate so that tells you how hard the wind is blowing. The forecasts are that the wind is going to cause the brief rise in temperature to plummet back down to the mid and lower twenties by evening. Already between 6:30 and 8:00 the temp here in Westerville fell six degrees from 36 to 30 now.

I have an appointment with the ortho-neuro surgeon this morning, but I won’t be going. My kids have decreed that I have no business trying to walk with crutches on the ice. I have to agree and I’ve been trying to get them all morning. So I won't be finding out about having my knees fixed quite yet.

I have thanked the Lord over and over these last few days that I don’t have to be out in this weather any longer. I remember so well the worry when I was living alone and there were several inches of snow. A snowed-in drive, snow covered walks, crutches on a snow-covered wooden deck, getting from the house to the garage alone. It was a nightmare then and a bad memory now. Thank the Lord for being able to stay inside. Thank the Lord for kids who say I don’t have to do that any more.

2011-01-29T00:18:00.000-05:00

Ha! I may be on my way to getting my knees fixed! I can hardly believe it! I’m still holding my breath. As the old saying goes, “There’s many a slip between cup and lip.” To be free of pain is something I can hardly imagine. Someone told me the surgery was painful but, honestly, I can’t conceive of any pain worse than what I live with every day. To simply stand up and walk across the room without first considering the number of steps, or cook dinner without maneuvering around on crutches, to walk out on the deck and down in the yard to play with the dogs, to go out and plant flowers and then weed around them a few days later. It all takes my breath away, just to think about it.

I look at people who just hop up to go do something minor—put an empty coffee cup to the sink or run to let the dogs in or get something to snack on. When I do those things I save them all up to be done at once and then I plan them out carefully. When I stand up I already have an itinerary plotted out in my head. The kitchen is on the way to let the dogs out so I take the cup along to set on the counter as I go past; when the dogs are out I come back and go in the kitchen to rinse the cup in the sink and get my snack. When I have those two little tasks accomplished, I go back to let the dogs and they follow me as I pick up my snack on the way back to my room and my chair. When they are all in I put the gate across the door so I don’t have to worry what the naughty ones are doing.

Rachael will make four separate trips.

When I go in my room in the evenings I usually close the blinds. There’s never been anyone out there but living in town makes me nervous. Usually Rachael and Michael stick their head in the door and say good night. I’ve been known to ask them to come in and close the blinds. Yes, it is out of their way and they have to take those extra steps across the room. But they love me so they do it for me. It isn’t because I’m lazy, it is because it hurts to get up and walk those few feet. And it takes probably three times as long for me to get stood up to do it as it does for them take the extra steps clear across the room. I would probably be criticized by some. I’m sure some would think me lazy. I would like for them to walk a week on my knees.

But I MAY have them fixed! It is breath taking!

more lessons from little dogs

2011-01-27T10:04:00.001-05:00

But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen. . . I Corinthians 1:27 & 28

Yesterday the Lord taught me a lesson from Gabriel. Today my lesson was from Sebastian. When I woke up I sat up with my feet on the floor and considered life for a few minutes before standing up.  It sometimes takes some determination to stand on my knees.

As I was sitting there Sebastian and Gable got up. They both stretched the cramps out of their bones and scratched a couple itches then hopped down. Gable came and sat not too far from me ready for whatever the day might hold. Sebastian came and pushed himself under my hands and between my feet, begging for, demanding attention. Sebastian is devoted to me on his own terms and when it suits him. His is honestly a case of ‘cupboard love.’

By that I mean that his devotion to me is based on what he can get. Gable’s devotion is constant, regardless of circumstances. Sebastian kind of looks out for his own interests first. Gable would sleep with me if I were on an iceberg. Sebastian chooses to sleep in my room because it is warmer and he can pick his spot to snuggle. In R & M’s room he has to share with Maxim and Mika sometimes it is crowded and it is usually colder than my room. He likes to lie in my chair because it is warm and soft and he can be all cozy even when he’s stretched out. Gable would lay on me every moment if he could even if my chair had rocks where he had to be.

Sebastian is very devoted when I have food. He is Mr. Johnny-on-the spot. As soon as the goodies appear to be gone, he’s gone. Gable stays beside me even when the treat bag is empty. Sebastian will grab a treat from my hand even when it is meant for Mika or Gable. Gable grabs his treat, but only those meant for him. Sebastian is greedy. Gable is patient—well most times.

When I call Gable to me for petting or scratching, he comes and revels in it. He knows beyond any doubt that he’s My Dog and he has complete confidence in that fact. Sebastian, on the other hand, comes to me on his terms and demands attention. He knows I’ll pet him but his acceptance of that attention isn’t as loving and humble as Gable’s. He demands it more those of a spoiled child requiring praise and rewards. And if he doesn’t get it he reacts just as he does when the treats are gone; he leaves. I look up and Gable is still there waiting for whatever I decide but Sebastian, as soon as he’s gotten his quota of petting and scratching, is gone.

Here’s the lesson. Lots of Christians are like Sebastian. They only follow God for the good things they hope to get. And if the good things are not forth coming upon demand they walk away. Oh, they still give lip service and if you asked them they would certainly claim to be a Christian, but they aren’t really. Their devotion is all to their Self. If God is handing out the goodies and the blessings they are right there like Sebastian, Mr. Johnny-on-the-spot, demand their share. But other times you would never guess who they belonged to. Any strangers coming to our house very quickly know which of us is Gable’s Master by his actions and devotion. Do people know who Our Master is within a short time of meeting us?

Now Sebastian is a little dog. He wasn’t raised by me; he hasn’t spent his whole life with me. I love him and I think it’s cute the way he comes and wants to be patted when I’m sitting there in the early morning trying to remember what my name is. But Gable’s devotion has found its place in my heart. If I were forced to choose, it would be Gable. Happily, I don’t have to choose.

Much of the world only comes to God for what they want, when they want it. They pay little attention to Him for 29 days out of the month and then on the odd 30th day they suddenly come demanding a good meal, or worse yet a bag of candy. Not only do they not follow Him, but they go pattering off after other gods. And yet they want to call themselves Christians.
I think if Sebastian would talk, he’d probably claim to be my dog, maybe not. He does spend most of the day with me alone—probably 20 out of the 24 hours—but most assuredly his heart isn’t as faithful as Gable’s is. (lol little dogs and ‘hearts’! But you know what I mean.) He is only with me for what he can get out of the deal. Now, little dogs don’t really have logical intentions so don’t say that I think any less of Sebastian because he is responding to elemental impulses. He’s a little dog and I love him; but God used him to teach me something.

We can’t be like that little dog, only relating to God for our immediate selfish interests. Jesus condemned those people who followed Him around the sea after he had fed them with loaves and fishes. He said, Ye seek me, not because ye saw the miracles, but because ye did eat of the loaves, and were filled. He knew what impulse they were following. They didn’t especially want to know Jesus and his teaching, they only wanted some more bread and fish. That’s Sebastian.

Jesus gave them some hard teaching then and many of them left. He asked the disciples, Will ye also go away? Now HERE is Gabriel, Peter said: Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life. And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God. (John 6:68) THAT is Gabriel. He isn’t going any place because I’m his One—so to speak.

We must take the lessons to heart. In serving the Lord we cannot be a Sebastian, coming to God only for the goodies. We must be like Gabe, devoted and faithful.

Hmmm. The things God uses to teach us. He really will use the ‘foolish things’ and the ‘weak things’ and the ‘base things’ of the world to teach us what He requires of us.

lessons from a little dog

2011-01-26T09:02:00.003-05:00

There be four things which are little upon the earth, but they are exceeding wise: The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer; The conies are but a feeble folk, yet make they their houses in the rocks; The locusts have no king, yet go they forth all of them by bands; The spider taketh hold with her hands, and is in kings' palaces. (Proverbs 30:24-29)

It is strange how the Lord uses the most mundane and seemingly foolish things to teach us lessons.

This morning I was up early-not quite as early as I usually am but earlier than most of the rest of the world. I trucked around doing my morning things and then put the dogs outside. Everyone should have a dog that has to go out first thing in the morning. It forces us to actually experience the weather, rather than glean information for the tv or radio.

Anyway, I put the dogs out, put the eggs on for R & M, made sure the coffee maker was on, and collected the lunch materials on the counter. Of those activities collecting the lunch materials is by far the biggest job: two packages of lunch meat, two jars of mayonnaise, lettuce, fruit, chips, sandwich boxes, smaller plastic containers for the fruit, a plastic bag for Michael’s chips, paper towels to assemble the sandwiches on and peel the fruit on, my favorite knife, a spoon to stir my coffee, and by this time, MY COFFEE!

When that is done it’s time to go and let the dogs back IN.  Ya gotta love ‘em! And there is the source of my lesson. When the dogs come in they are all full of energy from their run around the yard and the cold. Sebastian and Gabe tear around like wild things, Maxim bounces in between them and around Mika. Mika wags her tail and once in a great while bounces into that typical ‘let’s play’ stance, her front legs and chest on the floor and her rear in the air. That isn’t often though because her bones are old; usually she just wags her tail and gives a little ‘wruff.’ Once all of that is finished Maxim goes upstairs to make sure his Mom and Dad are awake. The little dogs come in beside me when I sit down to make lunches and Mika wanders around making sure the house is all secure.

During the course of the next hour or so, R & M get up and have their breakfast, get their coffee ready to take with them, put the lunch materials away and trundle on out to work, leaving me sitting alone at the counter, reading my book and finishing my coffee.

Now here’s the lesson. Mika goes and lays herself down on the rug between the hall and the den. Sebastian and Maxim go in my room where it is nice and cozy and warm. But Gabriel stays right beside me. It’s chilly in the kitchen/dining room area, especially for a little dog with no fuzzy hair. There’s a crowded spot on the floor between the wall and a decorative basket full of shells R&M collected on their various trips to Florida. Gable snuggles down in that spot. Rachael brought a dog bed and put it there to make it a little more comfy, but it is still cold in there. He could go in where the pillows are fluffy and the heater makes it warm, but Gable stays.

Wherever I am, he is there. If he can sit on me or snuggle close beside me, he does. If he has to lie on the floor, he does. If I get up to go after more coffee, he goes with me. If I go to the bathroom, he is right behind me. If I go to look out the front windows, he goes, too. No matter what I’m doing he is there. His faithfulness is incredible. I’m nothing special. I don’t wear a crown. I’m not God certainly. I can’t play with him. I can’t even hold him on my lap anymore when I’m sitting in my chair because his small weight hurts my knees. I’ve knocked my crutches over on him and that has to hurt! I’ve tripped over him and kicked him a few times in moving clumsily as I do on my crutches. And yet there he is, right with me; unless I specifically tell him to ‘Stay’ he goes where I go. And still, in spite of any thing that may have happened to him previously, when I sit in my big chair he hops up to snuggle down beside me in the corner and leans his head up against my side to have his chin rubbed. His devotion makes me feel very small and unworthy.

And WE as the professed children of God get put out and walk away from God when things don’t go like we’d planned. Or sometimes something happens and we are hurt emotionally or physically and we complain because God didn’t keep it from happening. Or we pray for something foolish and aren’t given the answer to our prayer. Or putting aside a sin that God requires of us is ‘just too much.’ Or we just decide we should be able to do our own thing. Or sometimes it just isn’t convenient to be a Christian. So we decide that God isn’t worthy of our devotion.

How foolish is that! How… prideful, arrogant, haughty, I don’t know the word…of Man that we have such a shallow devotion to our Lord! Aren’t we better that that little dog? Isn’t God more worthy of our devotion than an old lady on crutches? And yet, there’s Gable—faithful in cold and in heat, in comfort and in pain, in convenience and in inconvenience, in hunger and in satiation, in punishment and approval . No matter what, he is dedicated to me. And I love him in return. And his devotion makes me feel very small and unworthy of such a great gift. It kind of reminds me of the scripture: What is man, that thou art mindful of him? (Ps 8:4) Who am I that this little dog pays so much attention to me? I know it’s a backward application, but it just reminded me of the verse.

I am really nothing for that little dog. I mean seriously, yes I feed him— or no, I don’t feed him, R & M do that; they physically put the food down for him. I can’t even claim that little bit of care any more. I really don’t do anything for him any more. Yet he is faithful to me! And YET when we don’t get some little demand of God answered to our pleasure or something we had planned goes awry, we get all whiny and decide not to go to church—as though that will get back at God! We just walk away.

I don’t know what it would take to make Gable walk away from me; maybe my cold dead body lying for a week on the kitchen floor. Okay, that’s a facetious exaggeration, but seriously, he is loyal, constant, committed to me.

We must be just that devoted and constant and faithful to our heavenly Father.

Wow! What a lesson. It has left me in tears.

The false security of self-help salvation

2011-01-18T15:24:00.000-05:00

Whenever I see a blog that has a positive bearing toward the things of God I book mark it if it is at all biblical. One thing I’ve found, however, is that MOST of them offer check lists and humanistic philosophies for ‘how to be a Christian.’ That really bothers me. We do not ‘be a Christian’ by following a check list. We don’t ‘be a Christian’ by applying the positive aspects of self improvement to our life. That only makes a better professor. I was just disappointed yet again today in reading a blog that started out on a very positive note only to degenerate into a set of checklists: Do this; you have to follow this; you can’t do this and so forth.

To really be a Christian, we must focus all of our energy on getting to know the Savior. We must be entirely involved in finding out what the Lord requires of us within the pages of His Word. And finally we must be entirely involved in doing the Will that we find within the pages of the Bible. And that takes work.

I think the problem is too often that people want the outward appearance of being a Christian without really putting in the work. So they read the self help books and the 40 day, 30 day, 10 day, etc, spiritual campaigns that are supposed to make you a better Christian. The read books like the “Purpose Driven Life’ and the Purpose Driven Church” and other pseudo religious literature that are best compared to getting to be a preacher by climbing over the back wall of the church grounds. Christ phrased it, He that…climbeth up some other way. John 10:1

When we pursue the ‘self-help’ kind of religion we are like a man who sets out to be body builder but doesn’t want to do the hours at the gym and all the reps necessary to have the toned and sculpted musculature necessary for a body-builder. He might read all the books, and watch all the TV shows and videos that talk about a well muscled form, but he will never be a body builder until he walks away from the books and videos and TV shows and gets into the gym to begin lifting weights.

‘Being a Christian’ is exactly like that. The books and the videos, and the devotional guides and the checklists and all the other paraphernalia available in religious circles today are only making the false teachers rich. They don’t make Christians. They don’t produce righteous, victorious, rejoicing children of God. The only thing that accomplishes that is God sent conviction and sincere repentance of sins. When that comes there will be a true turning from, forsaking all sin. When a man, woman or child is willing to make that commitment, we find that the fantastic gift of eternal Salvation is bestowed upon them. Then they are born again as the Children of God.

But that is only one step on the road to Heaven. Some want to teach that once you have grabbed that gift it can never be taken away from you. And while it is true that Satan cannot take it from us and the Lord won’t take it from us, we are very capable of casting it aside. When we fail to spend time in fellowship with the Lord we drop that beautiful gift in the mud. When we fail to study and follow the Word of God we commit sin and tread underfoot the gift of Salvation. The Hebrew writer tells us if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, 27But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries. 28He that despised Moses' law died without mercy under two or three witnesses: 29Of how much sorer punishment, suppose ye, shall he be thought worthy, who hath trodden under foot the Son of God, and hath counted the blood of the covenant, wherewith he was sanctified, an unholy thing, and hath done despite unto the Spirit of grace? Hebrews 10:26-29.

It isn’t enough to pursue a path of ‘self help.’ Our help must come from above and our path must be learned from the pages of God’s Word alone. No man can teach the ways of God. Understanding of those ways comes only through the Holy Spirit and the individual alone together in reading and prayer.

me 'n' God 'n' early morning

2011-01-17T04:33:00.000-05:00

There’s something about early, early morning that I like. I think it’s the peace of being awake before the world wakes up. I like to sit here quiet with very soft music playing. It’s a time to think about things—not worrisome things or plans or what the day holds, but just to think about the Lord, about how much I love my kids, about happy things that have happened to me.

I used to wonder about Pappy, who would be up in the early morning reading his Bible or just looking out at the day. And now I understand. It is a good time of day.

I’ve never before been able to enjoy this time of day. When I worked at day care, I often woke up in the middle of the night--about this time really 3:30, 4:00. But then it was the stress and pressure of the job that made sleeping short. I had a lot of things to worry about and plan and thing through. It was never this peaceful, quiet kind of wakefulness. I was always trying to go back to sleep.

Then after the day care finally got moved, wakefulness was a habit and when I woke up it was a bother, because I knew I would be tired in the morning and I wanted to go back to sleep. But now it is a joy.

We’ve been talking about having my knees fixed and the possibility of surgery. And that’s good. But I wonder if having my knees repaired will alter the tempo of my days. I don’t want to lose this time alone with me and God and my thoughts. When the Lord healed Rachael of lymphoma, I told Him I wouldn’t bug Him about healing my knees and that promise has paid of in great spiritual dividends. Not being able to walk has left me chair bound and I spend hours some days, reading the bible and following different topics along as the Spirit leads. That’s a very good thing and I don’t want to lose it. I’m afraid if I were able to bop around and do this and that without thinking about the number of steps or the pain involved that I might get so busy with life that I would lose this quiet flow of walking quietly with the Lord.

There’s a peace in this kind of walk. I’ve always loved the Lord and I’ve lived for Him for most of my life—not just drifted along ‘being good’ but consciously made choices to do and be what He would have me to be. And that has been a blessing. But I’ve never been able to just be quietly in the center of His will with no need to get up and going. I know I was pursuing legitimate tasks and I was doing them within His Will. Up until now though, I’ve always had something that needed doing. I’ve always had my times of contemplation cut short by necessities. Now, now I can wake up at 3:30 and sit quietly in the peace with no driving need to go back to sleep so I can wake up in three or four hours and do something important. These hours alone in the dark become my important thing to do.

I used to like sitting in Notah’s old house and looking down across the valley and watching the lights come on, then the color shift from darkness to the lighter and lighter grays of the coming day. “My” window in the Angelo house faced west. So the view was different from watching the sun come up. It was like a window on how that rising sun affected the world. Maybe it wasn’t the blazing beauty of a desert sunrise but it was beautiful and gave me a backwards view of the coming morning.

Then when they moved to Tierra Grande I had a direct view of the Manzanos and the gradual lightening of the sky, the rising sun casting the mountain into relief as the first blush of light shone above it. Sometimes when there were no clouds the brightness seeped up across the entire sky. Other times when there were blowing particles in the air there would be fingers of light blazing up from behind the mountain. And other times, the clouds would put on a spectacular display of reflected and refracted and changing colors as the sun rose from its resting place of the night.

Here in Westerville, I don’t have the pyrotechnics of the sunrise, I have the wall of the neighbor lady’s house. But I still have the peace of morning and the sleeping neighborhood around me. This time of morning it is just me and God. And THAT is a very good thing.

confessing Christ

2011-01-13T19:03:00.000-05:00

I heard this morning on the news that the man who had been homeless on the street in Columbus when he was discovered by a news person was caught in a hotel room being disorderly. Doctor Phil cornered him on a show he had been scheduled for and made him admit that, well, maybe he hadn’t been 100% free of alcohol after all.

Now where the truth is in this, I don’t know. He may well have been free of alcohol initially, but when the opportunity presented itself in a posh hotel room stocked with its nice little supply of booze, he took advantage of it. But the thing is, Doctor Phil button-holed him and got him to agree to going into a rehab program.

What breaks my heart in this whole thing is that the man had been very vocal about how Christ had turned his life around. AND NOW we discover that maybe it wasn’t so completely turned around as he made it seem. It brought to my mind the scripture: seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame. Hebrews 6:6

Satan is always trying to prove himself greater than God. This poor man has done what so very, very many do today. They start out making a daring and bold statement of how they were saved and then shortly are found in a blatant sin. And Satan is right there to jump up and down and prove to the world that the power of God is worthless! The news commentators this morning said, “Now fame may be proving too much for the man to handle and he is spiraling out of control.” “Ted Williams is seeking help to face his demons head on.” “Problems like that don’t just go away.” Yessiree, guess he didn’t have so much religion after all!

I was thinking of how Satan is gloating these last two days as this man’s nation-wide exposure has proven him a liar and that God wasn’t able to do what Williams claimed He had done. Satan is saying, “See, God wasn’t able to keep this man from drinking, but MY rehab program can accomplish it!” And many so-called Christians are nodding their heads sagely and saying compassionately, “Oh yes, if the man needs help in conquering this addiction then let’s put him in rehab and help him!” And once more Satan has ‘proven’ that God can’t conquer our flesh.

This poor man has crucified Christ afresh and brought shame on Him. I don’t know if I should blame the man or the institution that taught him about Salvation and what the Lord can do for us. It is popular to teach that all an individual needs to do is just “confess with the mouth that Jesus is Lord’ and he is born again. Ted Williams had evidently ‘confessed Jesus as Lord’ and claimed his salvation. But something went wrong. How sad. Popular religion is sending men and women to hell by the thousands. They coerce (mildly, but still a kind of forcing) people into ‘confessing Jesus as Lord” but the men and women have no victory to live according to Christ’s example.

WHY is that? I mean, the Bible says that is ‘all’ you have to do to be saved, That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved Romans 10:9 So why is it not helping? Why do we find people making a great profession and then going out into sin. And I’m not talking about sin as some ‘fanatics’ might use the term, but sin as the Bible teaches it: drunkenness, fornication, adultery, lying, lasciviousness, malice, deceit, malignity, concupiscence, envy. That is some list, but it is never mentioned in most of the pulpits of America. Consequently, the thought that these habits might be sin never enters the mind of the people who sit in the pews.

And YET, when a ‘christian’ is caught by the police in a drunk and disorderly charge or when a ‘christian’ is caught having an illicit affair or exposed in any number of other less dramatic but still wrong action, the world (Satan) jumps on it with glee. And the ‘christian’ puts Christ to shame. AND THEN the rest of the pseudo-Christian religious world rises up in defense of the sinner saying “We are all only human; we all sin. We cannot help sinning, but Jesus’ blood covers up those sins. It’s only necessary that we confess Christ as Savior and then they don’t count any more.” But those sins DO count no matter what we say from our lips.

The difficulty arises when we think of the consequences of “confessing Christ with the mouth.” When Peter and Paul and John were writing to the believers across the known world, there were tremendous consequences to confessing Christ as Lord. The Roman Empire was murdering anyone who named the name of Christ. To ‘confess with the mouth’ required total and absolute commitment to the cause of Christ, for the very words would result in death at worst, torture at best-depending on how you look at it. Today, ‘confessing Christ’ with our mouth especially in the US, has very few consequences. It is simply another religious philosophy. It doesn’t require any deep commitment at all.

Consequently when we confess Christ with our mouth today, there is no need for the deep soul searching that preceded following Christ in Paul's time. There is no need for the deep separation from all things of earth. There is no need for the realignment of values and goals and daily lifestyle that existed in Paul’s day. When Paul and Peter wrote, to “confess with the mouth” meant that the believer had considered all of the ramifications of speaking that belief aloud and that he had chosen to lay aside all that the ‘old man’ (put off the old man with his practices Col 3:9) had valued and had chosen instead to put on the new man ( the new, which is renewed in regard to knowledge, after the image of Him who did create him; Col 3:10 Young’s literal translation ) which dramatically and dangerously set them apart from everyone else. Today ‘confessing with the mouth’ does not result in that peril. A confession of Christ today is something that can come superficially from the lips instead of the necessity of it coming from the depths of a man’s heart as it did in the days of the early Church.

I want the world to know that Jesus’ blood doesn’t ‘cover’ any sin. Jesus’ blood removes our sins as far as the east is from the west and makes us a ‘new creature.’ “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” (II Corinthians 5:17) That new creature that He makes of us lives a life free from sin: “For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world" (Titus 2:12) As Christians living ‘soberly, righteously, and godly’ we will NOT be ‘sinning more or less every day” Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin. For he that is dead is freed from sin”. Romans 6:6-7 When the ‘old man is crucified’ with Christ the ‘accidents’ that flower into sin do not happen and we no longer ‘serve sin.’ We STOP sinning. And when the temptations come we have the power to rebuke them.

I feel very sorry for Ted Williams. I sincerely wish he could have connected with a true Man of God who would have instructed him on his road to righteousness. There IS victory in Jesus, complete victory, victory over drugs and alcohol, victory over lustful thoughts and actions, victory to live a life free from sin.

I’m almost positive there will be ‘christians’ who shout, “No, No, No! You are being proud, you are claiming to be greater than God. We all sin. Are you better than the apostle who said if we claim to have no sin we are deceiving ourselves and if we say we have not sinned the truth isn’t in us!” But I am here to tell you that I have indeed sinned and once I carried that load of sin, and NOW the blood of Christ has cleansed me from that sin, and by his grace and power I have victory over all sin. Praise the Lord I’m not a sinner any more! I used to be, but I’m not any more!

2011-01-07T07:58:00.002-05:00

Last evening Rachael came back from the grocery. She called and said I should stay in my room a ‘minute’ while she changed her clothes and vacuumed the living room and den. Then she hustled upstairs and I could hear her when she ran the vacuum quickly up there. Then she came down and grabbed the sweeper here and cleaned up. By that time I was standing up and getting ready to go in the kitchen.

I thought while she was doing that how positions in life change. Twenty five years ago I was the one running the vacuum and putting groceries away. Now I sit at the counter and watch and provide background conversation.

While I was involved with preschool/daycare I had arrived at the conclusion that the younger generation now was a failure. Everyday I met parents who weren’t really grown up yet. They walked in with constant excuses for their life. This person did them wrong. That thing didn’t happen when it should. The ‘check’ didn’t come on time. The boss didn’t like them so she didn’t give them enough hours. Their boyfriend/ girlfriend kicked them out and they had no place to live. The lousy lady at JFS didn’t approve their food stamp quota. They didn’t have enough money for gas. AND YET! Their nails were done with extensions and ceramic polish. Their hair was carefully cut and tinted and highlighted. They put their cigarettes out before they walked in the door and lit another as they walked out. They drove better cars than I did. They talked about what they did the night before or their plans for the next weekend. By and large they acted like over-indulged children who had and took no control of their lives.

My son and daughter have restored my hope for the future. The Lord promised me I’d live to see my kids grown to become responsible, viable, godly adults. And now I look with amazement at Michael and Rachael as they do everything right and responsibly. I look at Notah who took not only a wife but two little kids who desperately needed a daddy. Now they have a good family in a great home and Notah has demonstrated that he is a grown-up. He and Kerra are raising good kids and seeing to it that they are in church and growing up in the nurture of the Lord. They aren’t overly indulgent of them, nor are they overly strict with them. Notah has become a good parent, even though Seth and Keva weren’t his to begin with, they are most certainly his now! 

I really don’t mind the shift in position. I love being grandma. I love letting my kids and kids in law make the decisions and then following along with them. Why? Because the decisions they make are good ones. I don’t see them deciding to do foolish things. I don’t see them living self indulgent lives. I’ve never had a reason to second guess any of them. They’ve chosen to live lives pleasing to God and that is the best choice.

The Lord does keep His promises!!

Jesus Blood Can Make the Vilest Sinner Clean

2011-01-04T14:28:00.002-05:00

For me the graphics kind of take away from this song, but the words and melody are so great I posted it anyway. I KNOW that Jesus' blood can make the vilest sinner free! Today the aspect of being free from sin is not taught in many of our churches. People are taught to simply 'believe' and to 'accept Christ as Savior' or "make a decision for Christ." And well, yes we do that, but there is more to it than that. Those directions are simplistic. There must be a grieving for sin and a repentance of sin and a decision to turn away from it!

There is a heart change that takes place when we repent of sin and hate it. The sinner can never be free until he hates sin. He can never have victory until he takes that blood and lets it run over his spirit and remove the bondage that sin holds over him. Only then does he 'quit the sin business..'

Thank the Lord, the sinner who comes to Christ can and does quit sinning. Not through his own power but through the blessed blood of Jesus!

okay, I know it isn't halloween

2010-12-27T14:52:00.000-05:00

Last Thursday, before Christmas, Rachael had a strange experience. She had to leave exceptionally early to be at work. I don’t remember if it was 5:30 or 6:30, but it was earlier than she usually left.

As she generally does, she went out a little bit before she was ready to leave and started her car. Yeah, it is kind of crazy when the cars are both in the garage, but never mind.

She opened the garage door and came back in to finish her breakfast and get her coffee. Then she went out, backed the car out of the garage and started down the drive. To her complete surprise she saw a man walking along the street behind her.

This is Westerville. There are never people walking around before daylight in the mornings especially so early. It startled her to say the least. More than that, as she watched him for a couple seconds, she became frightened. The man was moving with a strange gait, slowly and smoothly. He never glanced her way but simply continued walking. He was dressed in an outmoded style, a 1940’s or 50’s fashion in a long old fashioned overcoat and the kind of hat that used to be called a fedora—like Indiana Jones wore. He had a white scarf wrapped around his neck and over half of his face. That in itself was strange; it was cold, but not nearly cold enough to have a scarf wrapped so warmly.

From his gait and posture, he wasn’t an old man, yet he walked very slowly, not like a stroll or a pleasure walk but very slowly and smoothly. Someone walking for pleasure at that time of morning is a little crazy, but someone walking because they had to be somewhere would warrant a much more deliberate and hurried pace. And he certainly wasn’t walking for exercise. I think it was the speed and his attitude as much as anything else that frightened her in addition to the time of day and the silence.

Since she was so frightened and he just kept walking, she had trouble deciding what to do next. The alternatives were to call Michael, but that would take time; or she could drive back in the garage and close the door, but that process is slow enough that if the man did have bad intentions he could easily slip inside before the door closed; finally the she came to a conclusion and hurriedly closed the garage door. Then she backed down the drive as quickly as she could. Because the man was now to the right of the drive, Rachael tried to angle her car straight out instead of veering to the right as she usually does.

After quite a few minutes of ignoring the noises of the running motor and moving vehicle and garage door going down when Rachael got down the drive and paused to turn toward Sunbury, the man seemed to notice her. He stopped dead and slowly turned to face her! As he looked straight at her, he began walking toward her! No wave, no indication of what he wanted, but only slowly taking a couple steps toward her at the same pace. It scared her tremendously. She twisted the steering wheel and took off down Smoke Burr toward Sunbury. She was so frightened that she ran through the red light (there is very little traffic on Sunbury at that time of morning) and turned down the street to the gas station.

When she got there she stopped and called Michael to have him go and check on the man. Of course, he was gone.

We talked about it for some time when she got home. She was still frightened and said that one of the managers at work had asked if she thought it was a ghost. Now I DO NOT believe in ghosts, but I have to admit that I wondered something similar. The behavior of the man, his old fashioned clothing, and the odd time of day, they all contributed to strangeness and an eeriness that doesn’t exist in a commonplace, well-to-do neighborhood like Twelve Trees.

Rachael won’t leave before daylight alone any more. That’s how frightened she was. Michael gets up and watches her as she backs down the drive and leaves. She double checks the back door when she lets the dogs in. I have to admit that I’ve made sure it is locked even when I let them back in myself.

As for the man… I don’t suppose we’ll ever know who he was and where he came from. Or even if he was some sort of paranormal reflection. I don’t know. Scary though.

Celtic Thunder Christmas - Silent Night

2010-12-24T22:40:00.003-05:00

And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.

And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:) To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.
And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, "Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger."

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."

And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, "Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us."
And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.

And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child. And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds.

But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.

morning, again

2010-12-24T04:46:00.002-05:00

I love early mornings. Even though I’m home alone most of the time, and there is no disturbance in the house, it seems that early mornings are more intensely quiet. I woke up at 300. And I’ve been enjoying the quiet.

I like it here, but sometimes I miss the view down across the valley from Notah’s old house on Angelo. And other times I miss looking out at the rising sun behind the Manzanos from his new house on Mallette. I never got to hear the coyotes teasing the dogs at the new house. I think next summer when I am there, I will go and sit out side in the early morning—if I can get out without three dogs thinking they need to go along and protect me.

And when I’m there with Notah’s family, I miss being here with Rachael and I miss my cozy room here with all my junk. I told Rachael yesterday that I know my room is the grubbiest room in the whole house and that the clutter drives her crazy, but I like it and I feel cozy there.

I look forward to the day when we will all be in NM and I can be Notah and his family when ever I want and be with Rachael and Michael whenever I want. Or when ever they will have me.

The woman at Rachael’s store who was slacking on her job performance and doubling the work for everyone else was transferred to another store effective Monday! That was a surprise! Rachael was given the deli-bakery, the department this woman had in such a mess. The new manager told her that if she could straighten it out she would get a promotion out of it. One step closer to NM

BOOKS FOR CHRISTMAS!?!?!?!

2010-12-23T09:04:00.002-05:00

I saw this video of a kid having a snit on Christmas morning because he had gotten BOOKS for Christmas!

What kind of children are we raising today? I cannot believe that parents would put up with this sort of behavior. I would be ashamed of my child but you can hear the parents chuckling in the background. But they thought it was cute enough to be worth posting on youtube!

What kind of foolish parents think this is cute? Why don't they realize that they are rearing a very selfish and self-serving child who will grow up to be the same kind of an adult.

If one of my children had reacted this way I would have taken every single one of his gifts away. He might have a month to change his attitude and then the toys would go to Goodwill or the Salvation Army for children or any child who might be more appreciative!

We had a rule in our house that if someone went snooping for Christmas presents before Christmas morning and I found out about it, that gift would be returned to the store. If my kids ever DID snoop, they were sure not to let Mom know!
(And just FYI, the comments had been disabled on youtube. lol guess maybe people didn't think it was so cute after all!)

looking back at sin

2010-12-20T07:45:00.000-05:00

Twenty–five ‘til seven and my ‘kids’ are both off to work. It’s back to the regular work week for them. This is Rachael’s half day so she should be home by noon. Michael went in early to get a head start on some project or other.

I’m here in peace with my dogs snoozing on the bed and my cats scattered here and there—also snoozing. What a group!

I talked with a friend a couple days ago. We were discussing Lot’s wife and how she had turned back to look at the burning city. Remember, God had instructed them to flee and not to look back; Lot’s wife was turned to a pillar of salt for her disobedience. My friend couldn’t decide whether or not she felt this was “fair,” after all the only thing she did was look back.

I had responded that in looking back, Lot’s wife showed that she was not really ready to leave the sin that Sodom represented behind. She still had affection for the sinfulness there. God was determined to end the sin and evil of that city by destroying it completely. When Lot's wife looked back she demonstrated her affinity for sin. She wasn't willing to leave it completely.

Jesus used the same symbolism when he said that no man putting his hand to the plow and looking back was worthy of the kingdom of heaven. He only wants those who are entirely committed to Him and to His work. When we keep yearning back to sin we can’t serve Him wholeheartedly. And He does require whole hearted service.

I think that is much of the problem with Christians who can't really live a triumphant life in Christ today. They want to be saved, but they are still looking back yearning for the things of sin. Only those who will give him Wholehearted Service are chosen to be His People. If we keep looking back and wanting the things of sin we are not wholehearted servants, so we aren’t chosen.

We are taught a lot of things that cause us to question our 'wholeheartedness. For instance, we are taught that we can sin without knowing it. Not only is that not biblical, but it also cause us to be constantly second guessing ourselves. We can never feel that we are pleasing to God. But that guilty worry also allows us to sin in little ways that we KNOW better than do, because 'after all we can't be perfect' so it's like we are discouraged from even trying.

After this discussion my friend had responded that she found things in her life that indicated she was not being ‘wholehearted.’ She gave the example of fleeting thoughts possibly of anger, or lust or dishonesty and how she didn’t spend as much time studying her bible or bring people into the church.

But we should look at the picture from God’s standpoint, not man’s. The idea of ‘fleeting thoughts’ being sin or sinning ‘without knowing it’ is very strongly taught by one major denomination. (Perhaps others too, I don’t know) But if we believe that God deals honestly with his Children, and I know we do, and if, as Paul taught us in Hebrews 10: For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified. Whereof the Holy Ghost also is a witness to us: for after that he had said before, This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, saith the Lord, I will put my laws into their hearts, and in their minds will I write them;Then we must know that there is no such thing as ‘an unknown sin.’ How could His law be in our hearts, written in our minds and He not make us aware of those 'little things to which we don't give a second thought ' but are displeasing (sin) to Him? If you have the multiplications tables 'written in your mind' do you accidently forget them? No. But if you are like me and don't KNOW the division tables you accidently forget them? No, if they are not there, then you don’t know them.See what I mean. If there are things that are displeasing to God but He hasn't written them in our minds yet, then they are not sin to us. When he DOES write them there (bring them to our attention and make us aware of His displeasure in them) THEN if we don't obey we will be displeasing to Him and that disobedience would be sin.

If we look at the example of 'a fleeting thought like anger' we can find that this too is an erroneous teaching. IF it is fleeting then it is not voluntary. It is only when we ACT on those fleeting thoughts that we sin. James gave the explanation in James 1. He said, But every person is tempted when he is drawn away, enticed and baited by his own evil desire (lust, passions). Then the evil desire, when it has conceived, gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is fully matured, brings forth death. Do not be misled, my beloved brethren. (Amplified text) This was to help us understand the difference between those fleeting thoughts and sin. The temptation is that 'fleeting thought.' It has no power over you except what you allow it to have. That thought of anger comes and you shake it off, or ignore it or rebuke it, maybe, depending on how strong it is. And it is gone. There is no sin involved... BUT if that fleeting thought comes and you think on it and consider how great it would be to do something to the one that thought was directed toward THEN it begin to 'conceive' or grow into a real shape. Then as we act on it becomes real SIN. If we allow that sin to continue and we keep acting on it we will eventually be dead in sin.

And look at those beautiful words; Do not be misled, my beloved brethren. Nearly 2000 years ago, the Lord knew that sincere Christians would be distressed by these fleeting thoughts and He took time to have James explain the process of sin.. Wow! It never ceases to amaze me how the Lord has planned for our growth in His truth.

The Hobbit - the greatest adventure

2010-12-16T09:33:00.002-05:00

And while I'm at it, Here is the original animated version of The Hobbit. Peter Jackson is going to have to go some to beat it! This is the 1977 version. If you aren't a reader and don't want to do the whole book, get this DVD if you can lay hands on it.

Roads Go Ever On-Glenn Yarbrough

2010-12-16T09:25:00.001-05:00

I found this recording of "The Walking Song by Bilbo Baggins." It is one of my favorite songs.There are several verses of it. If you want to know all of them, you'll have to read the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings trilogy

Wednesday

2010-12-16T08:53:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a lovely day. It was a Wednesday and both my ‘kids’ were home! Rachael had the day off for her birthday and Michael took the day off to be with her—the best birthday present she could have. Sarah, Billy and Nicky were here too. So they spent the day acting like teen-agers. Well, R & M got up early to go and do ‘grown-up business’ as Rachael calls it. She had to go and renew her driver’s license and then stop at the bank and withdraw some cash that I had lent her Tuesday night. They also stopped at the grocery and to get Peanut some alfalfa hay and cedar chips for his box. (That’s one spoiled cat. He isn’t satisfied for plain old blankets or straw. NO! He has to have alfalfa and cedar or he won’t go in there! )

Then they came home, fixed some lunch (for R & M, and me) breakfast (for the rest of the crew) and spent the afternoon playing Uno. I told them later that I considered coming out and putting them in opposite corners of the room a couple times.

I used to wonder at how much Grandma Howe seemed to enjoy having the Rachael and Notah visit her when they couldn’t talk with her very much and spent most of their time out running around the desert with Lenora and their other cousins. Now I understand it. Just the sound of their voices laughing and coming and going makes me happy. I enjoyed having R & M home all day and I didn’t really spend that much time with them. Funny thing was-I spent the day thinking it was Sunday.

Now it’s Thursday and we are waiting for another snowstorm. It’s supposed to be moving in any second. Grove City already has a couple inches. The weather man said, “North of I-70 would get one inch, south of I-70 would be getting two to three inches, and on south around the Ohio River would get four to six!” Now that’s quite a range in only about 250 miles. I’m anxious to see what really happens. So far it sounds like they are on course. We have no new snow yet and Grove City has going on two. And that is a pretty narrow belt north to south… probably no more than 20 miles, although I’m not too good at figuring mileage.

Looks like there is a very, very fine snow falling now with no wind.

Bilbo comes home

2010-12-13T19:41:00.001-05:00

When the war of the Five Armies was over and the treasure of the Dragon all divided, Bilbo took only tow small chests and a bag of gold back hom with him. He and Gandalf set off toward Hobbiton again. they finaly came back to Rivendale and rested there for several weeks.

"On May 1 that the two came back again...to..Rivendale" (If you look closely you can see Bilbo and Gandalf and the pack pony in the center of the drawing. This is another by Alan Lee.)

When they continued on their journey they stopped to pick up the treasure of the trolls and to see them still standing turned to stone. Gndalf left him on the border of the Shire and Bilbo continued on home alone. The Sackville-Bagginses were in the process of holding an auction to free up his cozy hobbit hole so they could move in! they never quite got over the irritation of not getting it!

And there you have the synopsis of The Hobbit. I encourage you to read it.

We have company from Kentucky this week. Michael's sister, Sarah, and her fiance, Billy, arrived with Billy's brother, Nicky last evening. They a re going to be here for a few days.

And Today is Rachael's birthday. She is 33. Unbelievable. I was just writing on Chosen Highway about the stress and depression I went through right after she was born. And now I'm reminded that was a long time ago

study to show thyself approved

2010-12-12T10:29:00.000-05:00

I’ve been thinking about the need to study the Bible. It is vital that we get to know the Lord; it must be a personal relationship with the human Jesus that leads us through the tangled ways of the World; it is vital that we live in accord with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, the Comforter that Jesus promised us.

We can only achieve those things by an intimate knowledge of the Word. So the necessity of studying the scriptures is apparent. The dilemma is how to build that knowledge. Jesus said that the Comforter would lead us But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. John 14:26 II Tim 2:15 Paul encouraged Timothy to study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. II Tim. 2:15 John taught us that we need no man to teach us… the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him I John 2:27 And yet, men insist on turning to Man for their instruction.

In the last 50 years I’ve had the opportunity to sit under the ministry of many men of God and meet many Christian teachers and leaders. I separated the two groups because I’ve seen a dramatic difference between them. The first group had a deep and abiding faith in God. Their confidence in the Lord was built by prayer and study, trials faced, sins put aside, worldly habits overcome, righteous living and victories won and an intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit. They had studied where the Sprit led them and built their knowledge of the scriptures as He dictated; they built their understanding based on the broad and solid precepts of the Lord’s design and honed into a specific edifice of His Planning. Their message was fervent, and filled with the deep joy in the Lord.

On the other hand I have known the products of seminaries and schools of theology and various courses of study who had set themselves to study on their own course under the auspices of men. They never had the abiding joy that was apparent in the Spirit-taught men. Their knowledge was vast; they could spend hours expostulating on the meaning of various texts; they could relate various references to Greek and Hebrew historical recordings; they could speak of viewing the writings of Paul and Peter and John in the light of cultural customs and mores; they had a ‘firm grasp’ of how the teachings of Jesus impacted on the population then and now; they could give a historical trace of the actions of Christians through the last 2000 years. They were fantastic and brilliant men (and a few women) but with no evidence of an abiding relationship with God and no overflowing joy in the Lord. I have no doubt that some of them DID certainly love the Lord, but the real joy was not there.

What is the difference then? How does the Spirit-led study and the man-directed study make a difference in the end product. The first is a vital and ongoing production of the Holy Spirit. The second is didactic and bound by exactly what they had been taught.

I can only compare it to the natural growth of a tree and that of a tree that is drawn as a representation of a tree by an unskilled hand. The natural tree grows slowly, expanding roots in every direction, putting out a deep, wide underground network of tendrils drawing life from the hidden, unfathomable sources of water there. While the upward growth may not be apparent for some time, but the strenght being drawn from the nourishing water and fortifying earth is producing a hearty plant. In the course of time when nature determines the moment to be right, the tree begins to expand above ground; the days, months. and years perhaps, spent in the hidden growth as dictated by nature is then apparent in the hearty growth that now spreads above it. The branches expand to offer fruit and shade and shelter to those in need. As David said he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper (Ps.1:3) and the Prophet Jeremiah reinforces it by saying: For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit Jeremiah 17: 8 The child of God led by the Holy Spirit grows in much the same way as those trees over years of reading the Word and trials of life and learning to trust the Lord for guidance.

The man-taught product reminds me of a tree drawn by a child. A solid firm trunk with perhaps a couple straight branches and a symmetrical globe of leaves, stands tightly on the green grass. It is a perfectly acceptable tree and everyone who sees it recognizes it for what it is, but it lacks the vitality of the one produced by nature. It is two dimensional and while it conveys the feeling of a real tree, it is static and incapable of growth. The natural tree is moved by gentle breezes and growth expands in varying directions. The man made tree is built block by block by human instruction and cannot vary its construction or move in response to be blessing of God. When confronted by the opportunity for growth it is bound by what it has been ‘taught’ and cannot change. It may feel the blessings of God, but is unable to move except within the directions indicated by their learned principles

And in the process of systematizing and carefully structuring their study of the Word these sincere, but misled, Christians miss out on the fantastic joy of having the close instruction of the Holy spirit. They end up with a vast head-knowledge of the Scriptures but famished heart knowledge. They demonstrate the scripture in Revelation: a measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny. Christ compared the Word of God to bread and when Man parcels out the components of that bread phrase by phrase and sentence by sentence with his own seasoning added the hearts of honest men and women are starved.

They have allowed Man to measure out the Word of Life to them instead of feeding freely at the feet of Jesus, taught by His holy spirit. My soul grieves for them—honest hearts, misled by Man’s wisdom.

a refuge

2010-12-09T08:18:00.002-05:00

http://library.timelesstruths.org/music/Ive_Found_a_Refuge/midi/
I’ve found a refuge now from every sorrow
Joy everlasting and sweet;
I see this world, with all its sinful follies,
Conquered at my feet.

Refrain:
Oh, blessed thought, my sins are gone!
I lean on Jesus’ breast,
And while the storm without is madly raging,
I have perfect rest.

Oh, could you offer every earthly treasure,
Diamonds and pearls of the sea;
Then, turning from them I would gladly whisper,
“Christ has set me free.”

Far brighter than the shining stars above me,
Beaming with beauty and grace,
Adorned in heaven’s majesty and splendor,
Is my resting place.

I woke up singing this song this morning. I’ve found a refuge! What a thought that is! What a sure knowledge. In spite of hard times, in spite of heartaches, in spite of physical pain, there’s a refuge for us that remains solid. While men looking for and trying to legislate literal peace on the world, I’ve found a place in the presence of God that shuts out every disruptive force.

So much of the worry and heartache in this world has come about through sin. Without trusting in Christ’s saving grace we face a void that renders us hopeless. No matter what Man does to try to order his existence and be ‘in control’ he faces impossible odds. The Enemy of our soul is on every hand to create turmoil and chaos in every life around us. To make matters worse, the soul within cries out in terror of facing an eternity with out God. The most adamant atheist must deny and smother that tiny voice within him. The agnostic must turn that voice aside by addressing it to other issues of emotion and psychological explanation. The sinner acknowledges that soul-cry for help but seeks solace in every avenue from intellectual pursuits, to humanitarian activities, to sensual gratification but lays his head down at night in despair. But thank the Lord, I’ve found a refuge from all of that searching and turmoil and failure. There is a place near to God’s Heart that gives us rest.

Not that there aren’t disappointments and heartaches that have come in my life and probably will come again, there is still a place of rest. I can’t describe it to someone who hasn’t come to that place, but I just do what needs to be done and leave the rest to the Lord. It doesn’t mean I close my eyes to the difficulties or pretend they don’t exist. It doesn’t mean I simply drift through life and take no responsibility for what is happening. It doesn’t mean I can’t accomplish anything through my own hands. It doesn’t mean I am incapable or helpless in the face of life in general. It simply means that there is a point beyond which Man can do nothing and while others flail wildly about trying to impose some semblance of their own order on situations, I can simply rest in God. I can relax, knowing I have done what small portion is my responsibility and wait on God to do the rest.

Nothing the world or men could offer can replace that peace. To be able to rest while the world is raging, to have joy deep within my heart, to have the assurance of God’s grace in my life and His power over riding every evil is unspeakably precious. The description of that resting place exceeds the ability of words to describe it. I can understand John’s dilemma in writing down his Revelation. The sights he was given to look at were so unimaginable that he translated them into terms we find bizarre because he had no point of reference to describe them absolutely. That’s the way it is with describing the rest I have in Jesus. “Brighter than the shining stars above me,” “shining with beauty and grace,,” full of ‘majesty and splendor” the words still fail to describe it. It isn’t a literal physical place where I crawl in and pull the covers over my head, but it exists deep within me and no earthly force can enter in or destroy it. I have found a refuge.

It seems sometimes that the Lord leads us from blessing to blessing. As I was studying on a rest and refuge I came to the song Blessed Quietness http://library.timelesstruths.org/music/Blessed_Quietness/midi/

Joys are flowing like a river,
Since the Comforter has come;
He abides with us forever,
Makes the trusting heart His home.

Refrain:
Blessed quietness, holy quietness,
Blest assurance in my soul!
On the stormy sea, Jesus speaks to me,
And the billows cease to roll.

Everything is turned to gladness,
All around this glorious Guest;
Banished unbelief and sadness,
All is perfect peace and rest.

Like the rain that falls from heaven,
Like the sunlight from the sky,
So the Holy Spirit given,
Falls upon us from on high.

What a wonderful salvation,
Where we always see His face!
What a peaceful habitation!
What a quiet resting-place!

It is so wonderful to be able to rest in the quietness of Christ. While some look off to the Future Millennium for peace and rest, I have it right now in this present world. When we look to that supposed time for our peace and all the blessings that accompany it we sell ourselves short of what all God has for us.

ancient landmarks

2010-12-08T20:31:00.000-05:00

Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life: Deuteronomy 4:9;

There is always the tendency to move imperceptibly away from those things that were held so tenaciously by the early saints as imperative to deep spirituality, to maintaining the presence and approval of the Holy Spirit, and to drawing hungry souls into a vital experience of heart holiness.

These ‘landmarks’ by which the old saints lived and triumphed have slid slowly into oblivion. (Have not I written to thee excellent things in counsels and knowledge Prov. 22:20). We have lost sight of those strong testimonies that our forefathers lived out before the world. ( For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children: That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments: Ps78:5-7) We have discounted them and set them aside as unnecessary and often called them ‘fanatical.’ And that has resulted in a people who don’t know the power of God in their lives.

Where are we now in our relationship to those ancient landmarks which our fathers have lived by and of which their lives bore witness? This is a good question for any man ( or woman! ) to ask himself. When we look at the past history of holy men and women, observation shows us that most, if not all religious organizations today have removed somewhat from the salvation that delivers from all sin and worldliness. In our day fervor at the place of prayer, zeal for the house of God, shouting, anointed preaching, and various other markers of righteousness are becoming increasingly absent even among the ranks of Church-goers. There is also an alarming loss of an active conscience among religious professors and this always results in a decline from daily righteous living. Ancient landmarks erode away, at first so subtly, so minimally, so insignificantly and imperceptible to the majority that any who sounds an alarm is branded as a troublemaker in the church.

What can be done in the face of this downward trend we find? For one thing, there is that ever present weakness of being entirely too shallow in altar work. Our preaching and teaching as a whole may not be faulty (the words are right) but, sad to say, too often at the altar seekers are rushed through to a profession of Salvation. But after the emotional tide subsides there is a vaguely dissatisfied soul who has no idea why the feeling of emptiness persists.

When the young convert expresses this vague emptiness or dissatisfaction to older Christians the are told it is 'temptation, or "human infirmities." They are told their expectation is too high. So the young Christian is encouraged to ‘claim’ their salvation and a blessing will follow. But the advisers, however well-meaning, sidetracked the babe in Christ. They mean well, but instead of teaching that holiness of heart is a true experience, an inward crucifixion, they hold that it is only a ‘gift’ and a great blessing. Full consecration, abandonment to God and the putting aside of all sin that results in purity of life is not part of the instruction.

True devotion and victory in God can only result from a complete dying out to the demands of the flesh and crying, 'Let me die! Let me die!' When all sin has been confessed and abandoned and all carnal desires rejected, the refining fire of God will give victory over the fleshly desires and habits of life that so many Christians struggle with.

'Knowing this that our old man is crucified, (not happy-fied, or consecrated, but crucified,) that the body of sin might be destroyed.' The Holy Spirit will take us step by step to the end of our self.

In the light of this then, much of the move away from the "old paths" can be laid at the responsibility of a desire to add numbers to the church, instead of seeing new Christians led to a complete understanding of full Salvation. When souls fail to get a pure heart, no matter how sincere they are, there is bound to be a struggle in daily living and a continual struggle with sin. Worldliness and wrong attitudes reflect a failure to obtain a heart purity. People who simply profess Salvation are put into responsible positions in the church before they have demonstrated a righteous life before the congregation. Ancient landmarks are moved bit by bit until all sorts of unrighteousness is accepted without thought.

God grant that In our day we will hold to the old paths of thorough righteousness in our teachings and lives!

almost to the end

2010-12-05T15:01:00.001-05:00

I am currently reading The Hobbit for the I-don’t-know-how-many-th” time, over and over for the past 53 years. I’ve lost count. I can remember distinctly standing in the corner of the ‘Children’s Section’ of the New Philadelphia Library and pulling The Hobbit from the shelf for the first time. I can even remember the position on shelf, the right hand side of the corner, second shelf down, probably over about 2/3 of the say to the end of the shelf. Isn't that strange. I put Children’s section in quotes because I found The Hobbit not too long before I was allowed access to the whole rest of the Library. That was a red letter day.

I was enthralled with The Hobbit and a little disappointed when it ended. I’d never heard of JRR Tolkien and had no idea that three more volumes of hobbit stories existed on the other side of the library. I can’t remember when I found The Lord of the Rings. I rather think they were in paper back. But I DID find them.

I know that as soon as I finish The Hobbit, I will be drawn to The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers and The Return of the King. It is inevitable.

I don’t read quite as much as I used to. My eyes are not what they used to be and it is difficult to read except under the best circumstances. So today my reading is restricted to only two locations in the house. Those places have the best lighting. I keep a different book in each location so I don’t have to carry one around with me. Right now The Hobbit is on the counter in the kitchen. I only read it there in the mornings when I’ve finished packing R & M’s lunches. I do that and fix my own breakfast, then I can sit and read until knees are cold and my toes are numb. Bilbo doesn’t travel quite as fast as he used to. Actually he only travels for about 30 minutes a day. Heh, heh, heh. I guess he goes pretty fast at that since he had gone from Hobbitton clear to Smaug’s Mountain in about a week..

When the dwarves arrived at Lake Town from their trip down the river in the barrels they were received with mixed feeling by the people. But soon they became enthusiastic with the thought of the dragon being destroyed and all of the treasure that would come out of the Mountain. They lent the Dwarves boats and helped them get to the base of the mountain.

Bilbo did his part by finding the opening, the ‘back door,’ to the mountain and then actually going down the tunnel to the dragon’s lair. Eventually, Bilbo angered the dragon by stealing a golden cup from the hoard and then by foolishly taunting the dragon with riddles. Then the dragon left his lair in a rage and destroyed the back door; finally he rushed down the river to destroy Lake Town.

So today, the dragon is dead. Bard the bowman shot his black arrow into the bare patch on his chest. When Bilbo had tricked him into showing him his jewel armored underside he had seen the bare patch under his leg. The arrow penetrated deeply and buried itself in its chest. Smaug plummeted into the depths of the lake amid clouds of steam and boiling water.

Now the Elves and the men of Lake Town are preparing to march on the Mountain and claim the treasure, which, by the way, Thorin and his dwarves have already laid claim to. Life is going to get interesting.

(I never realized the fantastic amount of art work that has developed because of the hobbit series. And the artists who have done the work are fantastic. Take time to visit the sites of the artists and look at all the work they have there... Follow the links on the pictures I've posted...)

Living for Jesus

2010-12-04T09:16:00.002-05:00

So many of the religious world’s ideas about living for the Lord are based on mandates. And a lot of the rest is a program of personal improvement. The personal improvement agenda takes all the joy out of living for the Lord. How much better to live for Him because you love him! How much better for your life habits to become Christ-like under His leadership than simply because you think you need to ‘improve.’ Or because a (possibly sincere) minister somewhere says that you need to live in such and such a way. We say this salvation is a free gift. And it certainly is, but then we set out to improve our self.

I’m not talking about the Lord convicting us of a particular sin and our laying it aside. No I’m talking about the Christian who does the same things that a sinner might do to simply to make themselves more socially attractive.

I don’t know if I’m saying it right. But there is a difference in the life we live because the Holy Spirit brings conviction and heart change upon us because we are willing to do the will of God and the difference we make in our life simply because we think it is a good improvement to make. It is like the difference between quitting smoking because the Lord convicts you of it and quitting because you feel it is not good for your health or no longer socially acceptable. Both have the same end result, but in the first situation at the end you are blessed by God for your obedience and in the second you are just a person who ‘quit smoking.’

And a professed Christian can do the same thing. A professing Christian can quit smoking just to quit because he feels it would make him more socially acceptable in his congregation. And he can make a success of it—just like any other sinner. But the purpose was merely self improvement, not because a child of God was responding to the Lord’s leading and submitting to His Will. Am I being clear?

Maybe I could compare it to the prostitute who after long contemplation decides to change her life. With tremendous determination and courage, she quits the business and takes the appropriate steps to build a more socially acceptable image: maybe c moving to a new town away from old acquaintances, getting an education, and buying a new wardrobe that makes her appear as a well tailored business woman rather than someone who was ‘advertising her wares” To anyone meeting her then she appears as a woman who has spent her life as a home-school-church-community focused person. No vestige of her former occupation or self remains. The end product might be called a “decent god fearing” woman, but the woman within remains the same sinner as before. Only the outside is changed.

A prostitute newly saved might do the same thing. She will quit her occupation and move herself into more suitable housing. She will abandon the old haunts and buys new clothes which depict modesty and reserve. The reason for that however was not for social esteem, but because of a work within her. She has become a new person in Christ Jesus.

By putting our mind to it, we can, in many outward ways, achieve the same results that Salvation brings to pass. The difference is that one is just that, an outside work. The other springs from a heart change. And therein lays the difference! So many times we hear Christians say, “I know I shouldn’t but I just can’t help myself.’ And they keep falling back into the same sins. That is the indication of a Christian whose profession of Salvation is based on a program of self improvement.

Salvation is a free gift. It was offered to us when we had done nothing whatsoever to deserve it. When we come repenting it is bestowed on us with all love from the hand of the Father. Sins are forgiven and cast as far as the east is from the west. But instilled with in us is a portion of that great love which offered a Son on Calvary to die for us. That Love prompts us to not only ask forgiveness but to offer our entire life and being back to Him in return.

That offering is the implement of the change in our life. It prompts us to lay aside the sins that so easily beset us. It prompts us to become Warriors in His service and put away childish things. It results in the works that demonstrate the accomplishment Faith has carried out in our life. Those works go deeper than a simple change on the outside. They are evidence of a change on the inside. And THAT makes all the difference when it comes to our eternal destiny. God doesn’t ask us to simply ‘better ourselves;’ He asks for our submission to his will. When we come to Jesus we aren’t told to embark on a program of self improvement, we are told to submit our will to His and allow Him to mold us into New People.

is it really 'godly'?

2010-11-30T09:38:00.001-05:00

I heard a new one the other day. Someone said that they had a ‘godly jealousy’ over their spouse. (The spouse was connecting only to another family member, not the opposite sex) Now Paul said he had a godly jealousy over the Church because he had a desire to see them serving the Lord in righteousness and not be tempted away by false doctrines. But I read of no place where a man or a woman can have a ‘godly’ jealousy over their spouse’s relationship with his or her birth family. That ‘jealousy’ is old-fashioned selfishness and resentment because the spouse is paying loving attention to those they grew up with. THAT kind of jealousy is NOT condoned by God.

Now that it comes to mind, I’ve seen over and over where church people take plain old carnal feelings and stick the word godly in front of it and suddenly, as though that word ‘godly’ is an abracadabra, it becomes okay. Godly anger, godly jealousy, godly hatred, godly wrath, godly lust, godly vengeance, godly miserliness --they all are dressing up plain old anger, jealousy, hatred, lust vengeance, etc. in a fancy suit to make it pass by spiritual review.

We are fooling ourselves. Simply putting the word godly before an emotion in no way makes it acceptable before God. Yet we see it happening all the time. A man gets mad because his wife spends some time with the other women of the congregation and he calls it a ‘godly jealousy’ or ‘godly anger.’ A woman is resentful because her husband controls her extravagant spending and she calls her attitude ‘godly concern’ for her family’s well being. A man feels compelled to retaliate toward someone for a perceived betrayal or hurt, but since God says we are not to return evil for evil, he calls his course of action ‘godly vengeance.’ And it goes on and on.

Let’s be careful not to try and disguise carnality with a ‘godly’ camouflage.