early morning

Do you know the peace of the very early morning?  

Until just a few years ago I didn’t.  For a lot of years, I was busy. The busy-ness all involved very legitimate things-teaching, working on the mission, taking care of my mom, raising my kids and holding down a job, much of it all at the same time. If I woke up in the early morning my first concern was going back to sleep so I could have the energy to get all of those legitimate things accomplished.

It has only been since I retired that I’ve come to know how blest we can be in the early hours of the morning. I’ve not had anything of pressing importance to keep me from sitting and soaking up the peace. 

The world is sleeping. Our neighborhood is a very quiet one anyway and at three in the morning it is even absolutely hushed.  Our house is absolutely still, even the busy cats are asleep and, of course, the dogs are dead to the world. Even those little noises that come with every house-- the sound of the warm air flowing from the ducts, the gurgle of water in a pipe, the click of a clock-- are muted.  Nothing disturbs the stillness.

It’s then that God can be so very near and it is so very easy to hear His Voice. 

I’ve learned to simply sit and reflect on life and the things of God.  One of the greatest blessings that hascome with reading the Word of God for nearly sixty years is that it becomes engraved in your heart and mind. (For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, saith the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts: and I will be to them a God, and they shall be to me a people.   Yep, it’s true!)  And when you are still, the Holy Spirit brings those scriptures back to mind.  You don’t even need to pick up the Bible, He just scrolls them through one after another until His sermon is finished.

And after the Holy Spirit has led you through those scriptures He begins to bring to mind those people in your life who need your prayer.  To me that’s as amazing as how He lays the scriptures on your heart because sometimes those He brings to mind are people that you would have no reason to think of or pray for and yet there it is, the burden of prayer resting heavy on you. 

How does He do that? 

I don’t know but I know the blessings of it.  It happens most often in the dark silence of early morning.  It is at that time of day we can truly ‘be still and know that I am God.’ And it is at that time of day we can realize that we are a very, very small part of the Lord’s Plan.  It is humbling and uplifting at the same time.  When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained; What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him? For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour.

Doesn’t that make you feel so special in the eyes of God?  And doesn’t it make you feel so insignificant in His overall Plan?  A less familiar scripture, one of Job’s questions, says What is man, that thou shouldest magnify him? and that thou shouldest set thine heart upon him? And that thou shouldest visit him every morning, and try him every moment?  Job 7:17-18 

I think it is only in the early hours that we can realize how much He has magnified us and set His heart on us.  I know for me those hours of realization have become a special part of my life because it is then that He is so close.

I’m not one of those people who say you have to get up at the crack of dawn and have devotions.  Nor do I feel that I must ‘discipline’ myself to spend time in the Word or with the Lord.  For me there is no ‘discipline’ involved in reading or meditation on the Word of God.  I do it because there is a part of me that draws me to it. It is like breathing. I do it because I am drawn to it like a magnet draws iron filings.

I used to read my Bible, ordinarily, at the end of the day and go to bed with the words in mind. I had a tiny bible that I kept in my drawer at work and sometimes during the day a scripture would come to mind and I would take a couple minutes to go and read the text. Or sometimes in the morning I would look for something that had been in my mind as I woke up. Now I read and study on and off all day long.  (How good to be ‘retired’.) And all of those times are sweet.  But I think my favorite time is at three or four in the morning when I just wake up for no apparent reason and spend the next three hours being quiet with the Lord.  For so many, many years I wasn’t able to do that, but now I can.

Makes me think of Ecclesiastes.  To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:  Old age is a season and the purpose of it is that we now have time to sit still and dwell in the presence of God in a way we never could when we were younger.

If you can, the next time you wake up three hours before you usually get out of bed, go ahead and get up.  Don’t turn on the radio, or put on a CD or even turn on the lights.  Just go out to your favorite chair and sit there quietly.  Think about the Lord and His blessings.  Allow the Holy Spirit to lead you and let the Lord sit right there in the room with you.  It will be a blessing.

Modern Religion

Notah and I were talking this morning. He was saying that the youth in their congregation were doing a spaghetti dinner to earn some money for the youth group.  They aren’t sure what they are going to do with it but they decided to do it as much for a youth activity I think as a real money making venture.

There had been some talk of using the cash for the kids to attend the youth campmeeting in the summer, but the adults weren’t too enthusiastic about that since rather than a real bible learning/teaching experience that Youth Campmeeting is more of a summer recreation camp.  Several adults from the congregation had gone a year or so ago and didn’t seem too impressed with it.

I remembered when I was a teen.  We didn’t have such a thing as a ‘youth camp.’  We went to real campmeeting for a week.  There were three main services every day and an early morning prayer service.  There was also an afternoon youth meeting for those of us between 13 and 19 or 20 years old.  We stood in a circle meeting at a designated place where there was not a lot of foot traffic.  There was a short bible reading or lesson, time for testimonies and a prayer time where the youth were able to request prayer for the sorts of things that burden young people.  The prayer time lasted until everyone who had a burden of prayer had voiced their petition.  Sometimes three or four prayed; sometimes only one, but it was a ‘real’ prayer time.

My friends and I were in all three main services and generally in the prayer service at 8:00 AM and the youth meeting.  The local youth from the congregation there were not so diligent, but they did show up for most of the services and youth service—kind of like their parents who had jobs and family responsibilities that couldn’t be put on hold for the week of campmeeting. 

We heard the testimonies of the old saints (and the younger ones, too.) We learned that the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man could accomplish.  We learned to pray with a simplicity and burden that is seldom found in modern congregations.  We learned to remain in prayer until prayers were answered.  We saw men and women coming for healing trusting the Lord for His Promises.  And we saw bodies healed of crippling afflictions, tumors and twisted bodies. 

The old brothers used to talk of stakes being driven in out lives.  It was a strange reference for me for many years. Now I understand it.   Look upon Zion, the city of our solemnities: thine eyes shall see Jerusalem a quiet habitation, a tabernacle that shall not be taken down; not one of the stakes thereof shall ever be removed, neither shall any of the cords thereof be broken Isa 33:20  Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thine habitations: spare not, lengthen thy cords, and strengthen thy stakes   Isa. 54:2    That is what they meant about having a stake driven in our heart.

Those testimonies and prayers and eyewitness experiences drove stakes in my heart.  They were direct evidence of the Holy Spirit’s power in the lives of men and women who were sold out and devoted to following the Lord.  They left an indelible imprint on my heart.  Those ‘stakes’ were the thing that anchored me solid and secure during high school and college. They fastened my focus on God and the things of God.  They held me when other youth were leaving the Church for the World.  They blessed me when everything around was pulling away from God. 

I wish our youth today could experience those old campmeetings.  

Shortly before my father died, he wanted to go to a campmeeting site that we had gone to when I was a child 7, 8, 9 years old.  I can remember it from those days.  The campmeeting was filled with godly men and women.  They spent their days in prayer, praise and preaching services.  They dressed in modest apparel and made their kids behave themselves.  The children were right beside them, leaving only for a short trip to the bathroom.  There was an afternoon service for the kids while the adult service was going on.  Some of them returned to their parents when the kids’ service was over; others played under the leaders’ supervision in a selected area.  We had friends that we played with between services and for a while after the night service, but by and large, we spent the time with our parents in services. 

I believe my dad wanted to meet an old friend there so we went down.  It was only about an hour from where we lived in Sugarcreek. 

We were shocked at the change!  The only thing I recognized was the layout of the grounds!  We arrived about the latter half of the morning service.  The tabernacle was only about half filled.  There were as many people wandering the grounds as there were in service.  There were kids running everywhere, but very few in service. 

We had lunch in the dining hall.  (At least that was the same.  Everybody ate.)  It was about an hour and a half until afternoon service.  I didn’t see anyone I knew, but dad met a few people his age who were there.  He enjoyed talking with them about old times.  The camp grounds had many large trees scattered over it and there were benches or chair under them where folks could sit and visit.  But when the bell rang for service not very many bothered to leave their shady seats to go to the tabernacle.  A shelter that could have held a couple hundred or three people had a scattering of around a hundred.  There were more people outside.

The other thing I noticed immediately was that there were NO youth around any place.  When I mentioned it to someone, they said, “Oh they took the youth to the ------ Water park in Columbus!”  I couldn’t believe it but everybody there treated it as common place and completely acceptable.  No wonder the Church of God denomination has such a shallow stand today.  They don’t guide their youth into even the superficial experience the adults hold!

I’m burdened for my grandkids and for the kids of this generation.  They are never having the experience of honest-to-goodness spirit led preaching and spirit filled singing and testimony.   Consequently they accept any noisy, enthusiastic ‘concert’ for real praise and worship. They swallow any little lesson with several scriptures incorporated into a social dialogue as ‘good messages’  And when they are exposed to spirit filled worship and preaching, they don’t like it.  It makes them uncomfortable.  They are brought under conviction and it isn’t something they know how to deal with.

God help us!

thinking about suffering and obedience

I cried this morning when I read an email I received from a young sister who had written me when she was needing help and prayer and a little godly advice. I answered her back after some time spent waiting on the Lord for something to give her. Her message this morning was in gratitude for the words of counsel. That sounds a little stuffy and a little sanctimonious, but I don’t mean it that way at all. It is just that the words to say it differently aren’t available in my head. When the Lord gives me something to say to someone who needs His Help, the words flow out so smoothly and without any thought on my part. When I try to describe my own feelings in the process, the words awkward and, more than a little, ignorant. I write it with all humility, acknowledging in every fiber of my being that what bit of help I can offer her only comes from the Lord. Over the last few years since I’ve been retired with plenty of time, I’ve been surprised at the number of people I’ve met online and in person who are looking for help and counsel. I’ve never answered them lightly or tossed out advice off the top of my head, but only when I felt the definite leading of the Lord. Some of them the Lord has led me to talk with over a long period of time as they worked through hard times in their life. Others, God has said clearly, “This person isn’t looking for ME, he only wants to be pandered to and have his own sinfulness excused.” I’ve had a hard time in those situations. Part of me wants to soft pedal the message since I’m normally a pretty diplomatic person; but God has said, “Say this.” And I’ve had to say it,  being as gentle as I can while still delivering a message of judgment from Him. And maybe that is why He sees fit to use human messengers—He realizes the message of judgment is hard and cutting. Only a loving human can deliver it with the element of gentleness and kindness He wants. I don’t know.

A couple times I’ve wondered why they are being sent to me ( of all people!) or why they have felt led to me. And finally it has come to me. Paul tells us in Hebrews that Jesus, “though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered.” If Jesus! Our Lord and Savior learned obedience through suffering why should we be any different.  Here's what I mean...maybe it makes sense.

Shortly after Louie died, perhaps a year, someone in our congregation came to me and asked if I would visit a young mother who had just lost her husband and was having a hard time dealing with the grief. When I visited I found this overflowing well of empathy and compassion. I was surprised at the words that came out of my mouth. They did stem from my own grief and the loss of Louie, but more than that they poured out from all the hours of holding on to God for help and direction and strength! That was when I began to understand the scope of Paul’s words.

During those years of trial, of the heartache losing Louie, of being castigated by a false minister, of having to stand for the Word in the face of apostasy, of lies and bitter words from those I considered brothers and sisters in the Lord, of other battles with pain and verbal abuse, of losing friends and family to distance and apostasy and death—during those years I didn’t have much time to counsel anyone else… I was working on my own spirit. But suddenly with age I find in me through the Lord, the source of counsel. I’ve learned obedience to the Holy Spirit and now, after so many years of tears, I have something to pass on to others in need.

I’ve sometimes met young men and women who feel they have great spiritual insights that they need to give others. And a few times they do have that insight when they have been raised to know the Lord and His Will and have walked in it carefully seeking to grow closer to him. But with others I’ve looked that their countenance and found nothing of the Savior and I’ve wondered just how they got that insight and counsel. I won’t gainsay their spiritual standing, but I will say that generally speaking that kind of understanding and insight and depth only comes with heartache, pain and, yes, age.

I’ve known many men and women of God in my life. I could name them yet today. I was never raised to look at ‘role models’ as is such a popular concept today. I was asked once who my role model was and it stopped me in my tracks. I was raised according to Peter’s direction because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: ( I Peter 2:21) It had never occurred to me that I should have a ‘role model.’   I already had Jesus.  But because of this question (it was on an application of some sort) I started thinking about just who I would choose if I had to specify a human being as my role model.

I concluded that there were two pastor’s wives who I would most like to be like: Sister Green and Sister Craig. When I was a young woman, those two sister had the greatest impact on me. To me they epitomized Paul’s directions to Titus The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. (Titus 1:3-5)

I’m not there yet,(and my husband has  been gone for thirty years now so the 'obedient to husbands' part is a little difficult)  but by the grace of God I am endeavoring to live such that someday a young woman can look back and say that of me. If someone must follow a human, and I’ve learned that many honest brothers and sisters need a human “role model,” I want it to be evident that they can only “Be . . followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.”

I hope I’ve made sense without sounding self-righteous or proud in myself because 'all the praises most definitely should, must, be given to the Savior. '

Audio Bible

I am so excited this morning in my discovery of the Audio Bible. A few days ago a friend said he was discouraged about the length of the designated readings in a bible study we are doing together. In the course of our discussion I suggested he use an audio-Bible. Then I went and found the one in Bible Gateway. Before I sent him the link I used the site a little to make sure of what I was telling him. And I was hooked.

In the past I've avoided these audio bibles because most of them were in "alternative translations." I refuse to listen to a bible reading when I must be continually alert for false doctrine being promulgated surrepticiously in an allegedly legitimate translation of the Bible. The Gateway site, though, allows me to select the KJV edition of the Bible. I LOVE it. I cannot count the number of insights the Lord has given me in just the few days I've been listening/ reading it.

I use it two ways. One, I just listen while I'm doing other things that don't require concentration--answering email, playing a game or setting up photos in photobucket. As the activity goes through my fingers, my mind is caught by portions of the Word, that I knew were there but had never really focused on. But hearing them has a different impact!

For instance, just a few minutes ago I realized that when Ananias came to Paul in the inn after his conversion on road to Damascus, addressed him as 'Brother Saul." As far as I know, this is the first place that the appelation was used! (Somebody can tell me differently if I'm wrong.) Many people have asked me why we call one another "brother so-n-so" and "sister whatever's-her-name" in the Church. I've always answered that it was because we are recognizing our relationship in the family of God. And that is true, but until just about 50 minutes ago I never knew the phrasing was actually used in the BIBLE! Wow. And I've read the Bible for FIFTY YEARS. Yes, ever since I was 14 or 15 years old I've made a practice of reading my bible almost daily! And I never saw that! It wasn't until I heard the narrator say, "Brother Saul' that the light came on!

The other way I use the audio bible is to play it and follow along in the actual text. For instance, when I heard "Brother Saul" I stopped fixing my meals in Cafe World and pulled up the actual text of the Bible. Then I went back and read the chapter with the narrator. It was great! I was blown away by the reading of the words: And Saul, yet breathing out threatenings and slaughter against the disciples of the Lord.. . Yes, I KNEW that Saul persecuted the Christians, but hearing the statement breathing out threatenings and slaughter, chilled my bones!! His hatred of the Christians was so much a part of him that it came out in his very breath! It never impacted on me like that before.

And then, did you know that Ananias really didn't want to go to Saul? I guess I knew it in the back of my mind, but it was just a statement on paper. He actually said to God, "Lord, I have heard by many of this man, how much evil he hath done to thy saints at Jerusalem: and here he hath authority from the chief priests to bind all that call on thy name." Kind of a diplomatic way of saying, "Lord, are you crazy? Sending me to see that guy!" I could almost see Ananias' face as he said it-absolute shock and more that a little scared!

I've always had a good imagination and produce vivid imagery in my head as I read, but I have to say that listening to the Word being read has opened a whole new realm of understanding for me. I really do encourage every one of you to try it.

Go to http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/audio/ You can choose your version. I strongly recommend the King James. I think there is a link for alternative languages too.

2009 is over

My yoke has been easy and my burden has been light.

I’ve been reading blogs today and over and over I’ve seen statements to the effect “Thank the Lord this year is over” “Thank the Lord for bringing me through this year.” Some of them were even gloomier than that. “This has been a terrible year. I’m glad it’s over.” “I’m looking forward to the New Year because maybe I can forget all the bad things that happened.”

I have to say that I’ve never had any of these feelings with the coming new year. I’ve had some times in my life when people told me in retrospect, “How did you ever stand that! How did you get through that!” Or they've said, "Oh you poor thing!" But I suppose I’m pretty dense because I never realized that I was having a hard time!

When my dad died, I inherited a piece of property that the state took as part of the new freeway. They offered me a token amount of money for the ‘right-of-way.” The portion they took was only about a half an acre and I suppose the small amount they offered was fair for the amount of land; however the piece of land they appropriated was the only access to the remaining acreage. I was left with a piece of land I could not use. I refused their offer and we went to court.

In his concluding remarks my attorney told the judge (and I’ll condense it. He did a much more heart rending presentation) He said, “Here is this widow. She lost her husband and was left with two young children. A month later she lost her mother. Because of her financial circumstances she was forced to live with her father who in the course of time also passed away. She has raised her two children without any aide from the state. She has never applied for food stamps. She has never asked for ADC. She has never asked for medical assistance. She has worked and supported both herself and the children and is now struggling alone. And she is still not asking for help. All she is asking is a fair reimbursement for the land that the state of Ohio has made useless to her.”

I sat there at the plaintiff’s table and thought “Oh my goodness, that poor woman!" And then I thought “Gracious! He’s talking about ME”

What he was saying was the absolute truth, but I had never realized my situation. I believed and still believe implicitly in the scripture, Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Because God has proven Himself to me over and over. He has given me rest to my soul. He has carried my burdens. He has lifted worry from my mind. He has supplied all my needs at the exact moment when I needed them. In every trial He has made a way of escape.

When I hear about some events in my life from someone else’s point of view I’m sometimes surprised to realize that they are talking about me. So many things have happened that others have sympathized over and I’ve felt a little bit like I’m accepting their compassion under false pretenses. Those events have indeed been occasions in my life, but I’ve never felt the weight of them. I’ve never had reason to sit and bemoan my fate in life. I’ve never worried at my lack of medical insurance for either myself or my children. I’ve had to explain my circumstances a lot of times, but I’ve never felt that there was any reason to moan about them. I’ve never had reason to feel sorry for myself because through my entire life the Lord has carried the weight. All the high places have been brought low and the low places raised and He has made my path smooth before me. He is a fantastic Lord.

I don’t understand those folks who are always crying about how hard they have it or how difficult their circumstances are, because my Lord has never left me alone or helpless in a hard place. He has never left me feeling bereft. Maybe part of the reason is that I’ve never asked for more than I needed and He has always supplied my needs every day. Sometimes I didn’t get a prayer answered immediately but the need was always supplied. He has never left me ‘in the lurch’

There have been times when people have disappointed me. There have been times when ‘good Christians” have let me down. There have been times when even preachers have shocked me with their lack of compassion. But God has never failed me.

I’ve never had occasion to say, “Whew! Thank goodness this awful year is over” He has carried the burden and lifted me up at the same time. He did it so faithfully and lovingly that I never realized the hard places. “I found it so! I found it so!’ Only in looking back when someone pointed it out to me did I realize that maybe those times were hard, but they were blessed by His protecting Hand.

So as the year ends, I want to praise the Lord because He is my Lord. He is my helper, my conforter. He guides me and keeps me. He is always there picking up the greater part of the burden and smoothing the hard places. I praise him because I need not look back on this year with regret or sorrow. I praise Him because there is nothing behind me to be sorry for and there is nothing ahead to fear. How wonderful! Thank you, Lord!

I’ve found my Lord and He is mine,
He won me by His love;
I’ll serve Him all my years of time,
And dwell with Him above.
Refrain:
His yoke is easy, His burden is light,
I’ve found it so, I’ve found it so;
His service is my sweetest delight,
His blessings ever flow.

No other Lord but Christ I know,
I walk with Him alone;
His streams of love forever flow,
Within my heart His throne.

He’s dearer to my heart than life,
He found me lost in sin;
He calmed the sea of inward strife,
And bade me come to Him.

My flesh recoiled before the cross,
And Satan whispered there,
“Thy gain will not repay the loss,
His yoke is hard to bear.”

I’ve tried the road of sin and found,
Its prospects all deceive;
I’ve proved the Lord, and joys abound,
More than I could believe

cook fires

It's a damp cold day today. I've looked out at gray skies and mostly bare branches. So naturally I thought of past cold damp days.

We used to go camping in late September- early October, sometimes later even than that. This kind of weather reminds me of it-cold and windy. We loved it and never found it too cold.

And that reminds me of the way my father built fires. My dad always thought he knew the best way to build a campfire and he taught my brother and me the “way to do it.” I was always dis-satisfied with the results of cooking over his campfires. He started with this huge bonfire and then proceeded to tell us that we had to wait until there was a good bed of coals to cook over it. Of course he never started the fire until it was almost time to eat and the fire didn't have time to 'burn down.' Most often we were cooking hot dogs and inevitably we began sticking our wiener sticks over the flames long before the fire was ready. We ended up eating hot dogs, smoky and blistered on the outside, sometimes burnt, but still cold or at best mildly warm inside. Deep inside I knew there had to be a better way, but I never did it often enough to develop a Method.

It wasn’t until I was married, living next door to my mother-in-law and cooking with her that I learned how to build an effective cooking fire. Mom of course learned how to do it from generations of Navajo women preparing meals without the benefit of a stove. My husband and other Navajo men could cook just as well if they didn't try to get fancy.

First the boys ( my husband’s nephews who grew up at Mom’s house) were dispatched to bring a sizable pile of fire wood to the area where we would be cooking. Unlike my dad, who lit a small ‘starter’ fire and then proceeded to pile the entire heap of wood on top, the boys under Mom’s direction built a small fire--probably no more than 12 inches across. As it blazed nicely they gradually added more sturdy chunks of wood and extended the fire slightly to the side. When a bed of coals developed on one side, that became the cooking area. Mom would then rake the hot coals level and cook over those. She continued to add wood to the main part of the fire and kept her bed of coals hot. The fire never got larger than a couple feet in diameter. That was less that half the size of my father’s!

On that tiny fire, Mom could fry potatoes, roast chilies and bake naaniskaadi. I learned to do that too.

Years later, after Louie was gone, I went camping with my brother and his family. Sure enough, he built this gigantic fire that was impossible to cook over. I could NOT tell him differently. He insisted this was the “way to do it.” I should just hush up and let him alone. So while the kids complained they were hungry, we waited for the big logs in a huge pile to burn down to coals.

Long before the fire was at cooking heat, my brother decreed we should put our pot of pork and beans on the side and begin cooking hot dogs. I couldn’t tell him any differently although by that time, tutored by Louie’s mom, I had cooked many meals over open fires. And of course, the hotdogs were blistered on the outside and cold on the inside. The beans stuck on the bottom of the pot but weren’t really hot.

Sadly, the only ones who knew what they could taste like were my kids, who had eaten food cooked on real campfires and knew that a good cook fire wasn’t five feet across!

When we left there were still some big charred logs remaining that we had to dump water on.

So there you have it --just a memory that popped up because of the weather. Probably my cold toes helped with the recollection, too. I don't need to tell you that both my kids know how to make a good Navajo Cook Fire. And they can cook over it too--Rachael better than Notah.