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Thursday, May 13, 2010

random thoughts

It’s almost dawn on our hill in Belen. The sky is gray outside my window. I can see the lights in the valley. I love watching morning happen. In Ohio we are surrounded by houses and trees. It is pretty but there is something very special about seeing the sun rising over the mountains with miles and miles in between me and the light. Sun actually rises today at 6:08. That’s what the weather people said. Sun-up is neat but so is the slow lightening that comes just before it.

My days here now are limited. I’ll be going home the second week of June. My blood sugar readings have been elevated off and on for several weeks now. When I talked to my doctor she said she needed to see me before the fall, when my appointment is scheduled. I have to call today and get the actual date changed. Rachael can come for me in June, but after that she will be in Management Training. So I'll be home on June 18.

I just discovered this morning that I absolutely can’t deal with stress any more. The other day, Kerra was talking about a TV documentary series they follow called “Ice Road Truckers” I used to watch it with them last year. She asked if I followed it in Ohio too. I told her I’d watched a couple episodes but had stopped because it was just to nerve-racking for me. We both laughed and went on to talk of other things.

This morning early I saw a program that had some sort of suspense involved as I flipped past on my way to the four AM news. I paused and watched a minute and discovered that the threat of danger and anxiety made me nervous. I flipped on past it quickly. That made me begin thinking-- I DO avoid stress today. Now that was a surprise. In any situation, I can not face any kind of nervous tension.

Thinking back, I came to the conclusion that I had lived with constant pressure from the day Louie died. I didn’t notice it particularly because the Lord was there to help me deal with it and it was necessary all during the years of raising my kids alone and working to support them. For almost all of those years I was a day care director and the multitude of decisions and disciplinary difficulties (for both kids and staff) were always present. I dealt with them as they came and although I nearly bought stock in the Tums company a few times, I managed it with general serenity. I raised my kids with all the decisions and complications involved in the lives of active children. I faced the dangers accompanying my son's skateboarding and an accident prone daughter. I trusted the Lord to take care of them even when I knew the hazards involved. It was part of life.

NOW, however, I become very nervous and ‘quivery’ inside when any kind of conflict is apparent, or there is any need for confrontations or any situation where there is serious possibility of physical hazard or where involved decisions are required. I take almost any avenue available to avoid it. I will let people be rude to me. I will let people take advantage of me. And I will even cry in private at other people’s pettiness or wounding actions, but never call them on it. And I most particularly refuse to watch a stressful movie or documentary or cartoon! I don’t even read deeply controversial books or even get too involved in today’s politics! I could never manage to deal with the stress of running the day care. How strange
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Every week I get an email from the Pharo Cattle Company. The author of the devotionals is Kit Pharo. He and his family have developed a line of range raised, grass fed beef cattle which thrive without the necessity of additional grain and silage feedings. These smaller range fed beef cows cost less to raise, have heavier meat ratios and result in higher profits per pound. Facinating. Anyway, he is a sincere child of God and sends a weekly devotional and also an update on his ranch production. This Wednesday he posted a little personal experience that I thought I’d include here. His thoughts reflect mine. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Enjoy!

Listen To The Birds –

Every morning, I wake up to some of the most beautiful music in the world. This spring, like most springs, there are at least six different varieties of song birds just outside our open bedroom windows. They all have a different song to sing – but for some magical reason they sound really GREAT when they all sing their individual melodies at the same time.

The singing gets off to a very soft and soothing start around 4:30 am when there is just a hint of light in the eastern sky. By 5:00, as the volume is increasing, the mourning doves and ring-necked doves will join in with their cooing. Soon after that the grackles will get started. I very much enjoy listening to the large great-tailed grackles – but you cannot classify the noises they make as music. They have at least five unique and different sounds. If you didn’t know better, you would assume that each sound was being made by a different type of bird.

Early morning is a special time for me to talk to God while I listen to His beautiful creation. It is hard not to wake up happy. The singing usually lets up considerably by 7:00 in the morning. I assume this is because many of the birds have dispersed to look for food and/or to tend to their nests.

If you are interested in knowing more about his cattle raising practices or you want to receive his devotionals and emails Here is the contact information. Kit Pharo Pharo Cattle Co. Cheyenne Wells, CO
Website: www.PharoCattle.com

I just enjoyed his thoughts on listening to the birds.

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